Shouldn't he call when he is traveling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Shouldn't he call when he is traveling?
9
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 6:38pm
Please give me some advice. I have been in a exclusive relationship with a man for almost 6 months. We see each 1-2 times a week, ususally weekends including holidays. Not yet sure I have the girlfriend title, but he does see us as a couple and we have been exclusive for 5 months now.

He is very bad at calling me, always has been. He'll call me maybe 2 to 3 times a week, mostly close to the end of the weekend or to return a call. He is in advertising and his job does require a lot of his time, including going out with clients at night.

This past 4th of July, we spent the weekend together and it was great. He then left last week on a 12 day long business trip to New York. He said he would call me from New York, but it has been 7 days since I have heard from him. He is very independent, and I do not want to call him and appear needy. Besides he said he WOULD call from New York.

What does this mean? Is he dumping me? I mean even if he is extremely busy with work and catching up with friends, doesn't a guy miss you enough to call?

I feel like I don't matter that much to him at all. Please, Please , advise.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 6:51pm
My dear, I have been with my bf for 2 years and I don't recall him calling me often while he is traveling! Don't be upset with hi, men think differently. On a business trip all they think about is work. My bf left for a 10 day trip to China two weeks ago, not only he has called me only once (except returning my calls), but he has extended his stay for another couple of days, how do you think that makes me feel? The first time he left for a long trip and didn't call, I cried for days thinking he had dumped me but he was back happier than ever. Don't over react and if you miss him, feel free to call him at nights it will just show that you care and are thinking about him. Hang in there girl, all is gonna be good soon...
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 6:52pm
You said he is really bad at calling right? So his not calling for 7 days isn't that alarming. I mean if he usually calls you every night right before bed and then all of a sudden doesn't call for 7 days, then yeah, I think you would have something to be worried about. But in this case, the man is not generally one to make calls. I don't think that how much he calls you and how much he cares for you really corralate. This just seems to be the way he is. If I were you, I would just call him and see how he is doing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 7:10pm
Do you want to know something funny? The only man who was ever sweet and kind and considerate enough to phone me while he was out of town, turned out to be the only man I ever knew who cheated and had multiple girlfriends on the go!! It's funny now because I have settled down with a great guy (who never calls when he is away). You'll get used to it, but feel okay to call him!! Men like reassurance and they appreciate the phone calls!!
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 7:18pm
I'm confused. Didn't the man you are with cheat on you earlier in your relationship?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 7:21pm
No, no, no, I was with a man a long time ago who cheated and did those mean things to me. The man I am with now, never calls, but he never cheats either!!
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 7:43pm
Ok - so now I am really confused. Just a couple threads down the board you posted about your current BF who you have been with off and on since high school that previously in your relationship he cheated on you, was rude, lied, and hurt your feelings. You said that your issue is that he has never appologized for the way he treated you in the past and you wanted to know what to do about it. Did I miss something?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 7:55pm
Yeah, you must not have read it very well. I said he is not cheating now. When we were like 17, 18 years old he cheated, but I guess you didn't read down to where I said that we had both grown up and out of that phase. This is nothing personal against you, so why are you continuously questioning me? All I was saying was that people on this board (like yourself) should be more polite!!

That is ALL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 7:57pm
You must have also missed the part where I said that we were not together for two years!! (Due to the cheating) So relax a little, do your thing and let the rest of us do ours.
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 12:26pm
Calm down. This is a discussion board. That means whatever you post might get discussed.

So basically when you said that you are with a great guy now and it was a previous guy who lied, cheated, and so on - this is physically the same guy, but a guy who has made a complete turn around in the process. Got it.