Showed him my pain & he spit on it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2011
Showed him my pain & he spit on it.
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 4:41pm

Ok, so my husband and I haven't spoken in a week since reconnected with an old friend who is best friends with my rapist (and his child molestor). As soon as he gets home from work he seeks any reason possible to go back out the door. I basically had to email him about why this bothered, how conecrend I am for the safety of my child and my home and how I am unable to sleep normally because of newly triggered nightmares. He replied back, "Not everything is about you." and that was it. Then he proceeded to connect with 3 more people on Facebook who are also friends with my rapist.

I'm dumbfounded. Then today when I went to get my keys I noticed he had removed my set of his vehicle keys, yet he didn't leave his set of mine. I just don't understand why he is behaving this way. I told him one night, "You hate me and I don't know why but I feel like I'm paying for something and I don't even know what that is to know if I'm even close to meeting my debt." He just rolled his eyes and said, "whatever" then walked away.

Now, I'm just plain out angry at him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 5:11pm

I think it's time to stop talking to him and start protecting your interests and those of your daughter by seeing an attorney.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 5:37pm

I'm so sorry but I agree with geoteo.

If ending this marriage is what it takes for you to feel safe, then that's not a decision you made, it's a decision he forced you into.

Loving couples protect one another. This must be so disturbing for you... I got chills reading your post. I don't understand how your husband can do that to you.

"Not everything is about you."

Your personal safety IS always about you, and that should ALWAYS be a priority to him. Your husband is a sick man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 7:37pm

It sounds like a good time to change the house locks, and to leave a box of your DH's things where he would normally enter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 8:17pm

Chloe, I tried to give your husband the benefit of doubt and see his side of things...but his current behaviour has removed any of my understanding of what he's doing.

I think there's a whole lot more going on from your husband's side of the equation than we (or you) know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 8:17am

Truly... The husband's side of the story is not without sadness or pain... but when it comes down to personal safety, and the safety of your child, there is just nothing on earth that is more important. I think it is sad that this man is so far off the deep end of sanity that he is willing to put his family in danger, but I truly hope the OP contacts a lawyer TODAY... Not just about divorce but about protecting herself and her daughter from the monster that is her BIL and apparently, also her husband.

oh_chloe's posts are really breaking my heart...