Silent Treatment!!!!
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| Thu, 05-15-2008 - 11:00am |
Ok, some of you already know my story. I am "seeing" a man that has commitment issues and my last post was that we had a argument on the phone about a comment my daughter said to him (which was, my mom would do anything for you, whatever you want is whatever you get). So, I know I am a pain and not easy to deal with and I didn't let him off the phone when he wanted to hang up so I told him if he wanted to hang up on me to just go ahead and do it, so he said I will talk to you later and hung up. Well I am still on the SILENT TREATMENT! This is the 3rd time that I have been put on ignore and today is the 8th day, he won't return my calls, texts, nothing! The last two times of ignore he text me or called me back and then he still wanted to continue to see me, so we did. Now here we are still no communication and I am really confused why. We discussed things the last time he came back and I agreed that it is what it is, that I accept the fact that he didn't want anything serious and we agreed that we will just see eachother and see what happens. I gave him the opportunity to leave, I asked him what he wanted and said if he wanted to move on then he needs to tell me and we can just go our seperate ways. He said no, no, no, I want to see you. So I said ok. He also said if he was done with things that he would tell me, he would let me know. And now this argument, which really wasn't that bad of an arguement really. I don't understand why I am on the silent treatment again? If you are mad and done with someone, isn't it just easier to end it than to just do nothing and have the other person call and leave messages and to have this person hang on? I really don't understand it, if someone says that they would tell you that they are done, wouldn't you believe it?
I am just confused with it all. I agreed to no commitment, and for it to be whatever it was. What's the problem? I have never dated a man that does this, is this normal? What does one accomplish putting someone on ignore? Do you do it cause you are mad? or to end things? I am so to the point that this is all not worth it, and I am thinking of just ending it offically. What are your thoughts? Should I give it some more time or what? Thanks!

Z
Here are your previous posts for others to catch up on your situation:
Are we over?
Really done or on punishment?
How would you take this? Confused.
I can understand your frustration.
OK, he did text me the following:
We should STOP seeing eachother for good. You deserve something better than I can give you. Please move on.
I
Sometimes these things are really hard to understand. You just have to remind the hurt he is causing you and that ending things is really what is best for you.
((Hugs))
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Why do you not understand???
Oh girl, you still don't understand?
This man is a control freak and is trying to intimidate and bully you by his silence. No, it is not normal, it is a form of aggression, to withdraw and make you feel abandonned and punished, as though you've done something wrong.
The real question is why in the world are you staying with him? This is very disturbed and disturbing behavior and it will go on and on. Most likely, you are blaming yourself and wondering what you did wrong to disturb him so? The answer is nothing. He is disturbed and trying to disturb you as well. Nothing anyone does deserves this kind of response. No relationship has the slightest chance if the two of you can't have open, honest, on-going communication, not mixed messages and threats.
Just let this go. Forget about hearing from him, and when he does contact you, let him know you've had it.
Alll best wishes,
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What is it you don't understand?