So confused about mixed emotions

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
So confused about mixed emotions
1
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 4:56pm


I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years. We've had our share of ups/downs and troubles. We broke up on New Years Day b/c all we had been doing since Thanksgiving was arguing. Three days later, we met and got back together and have been better than ever since. In fact, for the past month, things have been perfect - we spent all our "free" time together; we called each other 2-3 times a day and if we went out w/ our friends, he would come back to my place after. He said he wanted to take it slow, and so we did. He didn't want to rush anything. We spent all our time together. I work full-time; he works full-time and goes to school at night and on Sat. We worked through it and even made Friday nights "our" night where we'd veg or go to Borders. We always were meeting at Borders - that's "our" place. he had just bought me something when he was out with his friends b/c he knew I wanted it. Well, about a week and a half ago, we went out to dinner - nothing odd In fact, I left work early to meet him b/c he was off doing homework (we had talked for at least an hour during the day). I met him, we were eating and then he said he didn't want to go to something I asked him to go to (he had told me about a month prior that he didn't want to, but I figured I would ask anyway). I got upset and was ready to cry. He was like, are you OK? We got through dinner, then went outside, where we were going to go to Borders to spend the evening together. We never did. We stood outside talking for like an hour and a half. We were kissing, joking, having fun. We were talking, and I was like, you know, we have the perfect relationship. He was like, I like what we have. I don't want anything else. Told me he wouldn't be ready for marriage just yet - that's fine. I was like, I can wait. Then he was like, maybe we should back off a little, then, maybe we should be friends, then finally, I don't think this is going to work. I ended up back at his house (he lives 45 minutes from me) and we were goofing around there and then I left. I called him two days later and he was like, I'll call you on Fri. I said fine, then came to work on Thurs. to an e-mail saying we are done. He does not want to be w/ me anymore. And then it said, "For the time being, I don't think you should call, see me. I'll be in touch about Rent and Boston." We have tickets to see Rent and we booked and paid for our vacation to Boston in july. I don't get it. I haven't heard from him since, and I havent' called or written, abiding by what he wants. What do I do? I love him. I miss him. My heart is saying we are right. I don't understand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 5:36pm
Sorry you have to go through this. Sounds like he got scared, or had been thinking a long time about how he feels and what he wants.


Carrie