So I have been talking with this girl...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
So I have been talking with this girl...
10
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 12:27am

Ok so I've been "talking" to this girl for about a month and a half now and she really likes me a lot and is ready to make it "official". I've told her how much I like her and all that and I was ready to ask her out or make it official or whatever they call it now but like all of a sudden ive got cold feet. I really don't feel like I'm committed and feel
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 2:16am
It could be lots of things - it could be that you are nervous about relationships because you are unsure of yourself in certain ways or getting rejected once you bare your soul. It could be that you jump the gun in asking girls out or getting close to them when you should take your time in picking someone out who you *know* you want to be with. Or..you just dont want to commit to anyone at this time in your life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 7:57am

What it sounds like is going on with this particular girl is that you don't really

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 8:50am
You are pretty much dead on about the haziness of my future. I am actually a 23 yr old 5th year senior living about 730 miiles away from home. I definitly do not know where I want to end up once i graduate this year, and i would say her being a junior here doesnt help my case. Thanks for the insight, its all kind of making sense now.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 11:18am

It sounds as though you have a pattern here and a problem with getting closer, or committment. Something scares you, perhaps you feel trapped or as though you're being pushed into something before you are ready for it. As this happens repeatedly, it is a pattern and the way to fully and truly understand it is to get a counsellor and work on it. These patterns run automatically and unconsciously and so usually it's very difficult to undo them yourself.


Get some more insight into what is causing it and you will be able to make new choices in your life.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 2:30pm
Thanks drshoshanna, that makes sense as well. Maybe I should look into it. What would you suggest I do first?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 6:56pm

Welcome to the board ballin77,


You've only been talking for a month and want to make it official?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 8:45pm
Ah, well, if
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 12:57am
By
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 7:34am

Oh, I thought "official" meant something more official than just the dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2008
Wed, 10-22-2008 - 2:33pm

Well at the beginning it was all exciting and everything but as time has gone by its less and less. I get annoyed at