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|Sat, 02-23-2013 - 3:34pm|
I'm so stuck and and am tired of being here. I've been married for 3 and 1/2 years. It's been rocky since day 1. We separated last October (2011) and I came back in September (2012) to try and see how things go. Things have been better and my H has worked on things he said he realized he should have done differerntly, etc. Things have been good. But now, it's about 6 months later and I'm still stuck. ANytime he talks about moving ahead- buying a house and starting a family- I still get tense and anxious. A big part of me feels this marriage isn't for me. But then the big fearful and indecisive part feels like maybe I'm just scared or not seeing something that I SHOULD be seeing or appreciating about the marriage. The last thing I'm thinking of is to try to go see a therapist together and just see what she has to say.
I'm just tired of being in the same spot- as is he. I'm tired of holding him back from getting his dreams, tired of holding myself back and tired of living in limbo like I have for the past 6 years of my life! (I've always quesitoned and had doubts about "us"...so much so that I cancelled our engagement- only to get back together and move ahead with the wedding.
My head hurts from always thinking. I'm just tired. I just can't bring myself to make the final move. :(