So Tired of the Drama in my life

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
So Tired of the Drama in my life
6
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 12:27pm
My so called man left the apartment, in my car, at 8pm and stayed gone until 12pm the next day. And when I called his phone, someone answered and did not say anything, and when I called back the phone was cut off. He lies so much I am just tired. But, for some idiotic reason I want try to make it work. What is up with that. I really need some advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 12:35pm
ibritknee...

Doesn't this boil down to a choice of "accepting or rejecting bad behavior?"

If you don't like the way things have been going with your b/f...and you're constantly upset about your stuff disappearing...YOU DUMP HIM! If you want to continue the 'drama' you're currently living...DO NOTHING.

Soap operas go on forever!

Pianoguy

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 1:10pm

Some of us really enjoy a challenge, and when a relationship does not work, rather than get out of it and find something healthy, we stay until we can prove we've won. These kinds of relationships deteriorate into power struggles, abuse and are based upon ego, upon feeling good about ourselves. We often cannot bear to face the fact that we have made poor choices and stay on until we feel we won.


If you cannot get out of this on your own, get some help in doing so. This kind of situation erodes your self confidence and self esteem and takes a toll in many other ways as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 1:17pm
I stayed in a relationship for almost 4 years that I deep down knew wouldnt work. I am still dealing with the reasons why - I thought I couldnt get anyone better, I figured he would mature, there were countless things I thought.

But I got rid of him finally July of last year. I met the love of my life in December and we are perfect together. He is a good man. WE got married in May. If I would have held onto my ex, I would have never been available to meet Mr.RIght.

You are missing out on real love, let this guy go and you WILL find someone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 5:43pm
thats not cool. sometimes when we ignore things like this and not put our foot down.we are taken for granted.no matter how hard it feel,be strong and make him respect you by not allowing this.know that there is someone who will truly love you and respect you.this is an opion based on what i read from you.be strong and follow your heart,because the heart never lies.you know if you're truly happy or not.i wish you the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 7:40pm
I'm not saying that I'm 100% sure he was with another woman, because I'm definately not, but why does it seem like every time a guy is cheating on his SO the "other woman" answers the phone when she calls? Is it just me...or does that seem to be happening a lot?

When your boyfriend got back, where did he say he was. He stayed over night some place...what was his excuse?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 8:01pm
::But, for some idiotic reason I want try to make it work. What is up with that.

There are many possible reasons for this and most of them take a lot of soul searching to get to the real reason and to know thyself. Think about these:

1) afraid of being alone

2) thinking no one better will come along

3) thinking if 'I' can't make this work then it means I'm unworthy, unlovable, a failure

4) sometimes it's ego, if only I can get him to change, it will prove he really loves me

If only and what if's can only make you crazy. When you are really tired of his behavior and see the truth for what it is, then you will be ready to walk away without looking back. My best to you.


Carrie