So very confused???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
So very confused???
2
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 9:01pm
Well I'm not sure that this really belongs here but here goes. I'm 2 months pregnant with my boyfriends child and we have a major decision to make. I told him that if we were not at least engaged by the time I was 7months then we would need to put the baby up for adoption. It tears me apart and I really don't want to put the pressure on but I hate not having a clue as to what my future holds. I can not afford to raise the baby alone plus I want my child to have a mom and dad which is why I need some kind of commitment from him. His family is pressuring him to keep the baby but I need some assurance. I'm afraid of becoming too pushy or needy to him. I am ready to be married and be a mom but I don't know that he is. How can I help him and help myself?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 11:30am

Why do you feel that getting engaged by a certain date will make things better?Do you feel that by giving him this ultimatum, you will get the ring, the baby, the perfect life?


I know people that come from broken homes and have matured into great citizens and even better freinds. They go ont o become doctors or lawyers, teachers and police officers. I also have seen people come out of what are labled " normal " homes, and become criminals.


These days, marriage doesnt fix anything, your happiness is determined by you...If you feel that setting a time limit on your relationship and getting a ring is going to make things better somehow, then go for it, I dont thin kanyone will be able to tell you any different. I hope before you go with this ultimatum, you give things a little more thought.


Best of luck to you and your baby,


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 1:47pm
I don't believe that getting a ring will make it all better but it will prove to me that he means what he says. I know a baby is not a reason to marry but in my case which is very tough I need to know that he wants to try and make it right. Yeah we should have taken precautions but it's too late for that now. I want to be able to keep the baby and be it's mom and I want my child to have a dad. It's not really an ultimatum because I never said we would be over but I will have to find a good family for my child and that will take time.