so, what now?
Find a Conversation
so, what now?
| Mon, 08-02-2004 - 4:51pm |
My husband and I recently almost divorced over our different sexual needs. Either I have a high sex drive or he has a really low one. He is a twice a month man, me I am a three times a week woman. We both made mistakes, different but still mistakes, in our short separation. We decided to work things out, and in less than month; things seem to be right back to where we started. I have told him how important this is to me, and that it is more than physical. But nothing ever works for more than a few weeks. I had decided that because the kids were going to take our separation so hard that I should just stay miserable. What else can I do? I don’t have the time or money for therapy. The time maybe but the money, we really don’t have that kind of money.

And how will they take your depression, your resentment to you husband, your anger, your frustration, and possibly your affair? What will they learn from observing your unhappy marriage?Exactly how will they benefit?
Do you know for sure that you can't afford therapy? Have you looked into it?
There should be many councelling centers that offer free councelling to low income families. YOU just have to WANT to go.
As far as the sexual drives go, how old is your husband? Age is a huge factor in a mans Libido, maybe he has problems with his erections, or maybe he also has some emotional distress when it comes to having sex.
I can see this leading to an affair if you don't go to councelling, and though an affair satisfies your strong sexual needs, you have to understand that most of the time a woman gets emotionally involved with her lover as well.
My advice, get some marital councelling, don't have an affair, and if sex is the reason you want a divorce then you are married for the wrong reason.
Good luck to you and be blessed.
Maybe in his childhood growing up as an only child his parents where very good with him, but were very cold to eachother. Ask him if he has any childhood memories of how his mom and dad were effectionate wise to eachother.
See if there is a pattern and talk to him. Or really just to to invest in the councelling.
To save your marriage I think anything is worth a shot. Or try like a temporary separation, where he moves out for a while, and then maybe things will rekindle themsleves.
Hey everybody needs a little time away for themselves to find themselves and get in touch with what they really want.
Good luck to you.