someone please talk to me(confused!)
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someone please talk to me(confused!)
| Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:12pm |
My boyfriend and i have been going out for 2 1/2 months and i thought i finally met a real old fashioned gentleman.he never got out of the way with me and the farthest we ever went was a friendly goodnight kiss. i went over to his place yesterday to hang out and i got tired and we decided that we would lay in his bed and take a nap. the next thing that happened is that he kissed me and before i knew it, our clothes were on the floor. we did not have sex but i felt horrible and he said that he did to and it was just the attraction we had for one another. well, i couldnt look him in the eye and told him to take me home. i worried that he isnt the nice guy i thought or is he? he blames it on mere attraction, but i never did anything so dissrectful like this befor. should i dump him because i cant get this out of my head.

You cannot personally engage in behavior or situations that is going to potentially result in YOU violating your own boundaries and then put your feelings that result from those situations, or blame for those situations off on other people.
You two laid down in a bed....you're in a "romantic dating liason" - meaning there is physical attraction....and now you're upset that YOU ended up naked with him?
Makes no sense. If you don't want to put yourself into positions that you feel you might not be able to restrain yourself - then don't take naps in beds with guys that you're physically attracted/attractive to or get yourselves into situations or circumstances with them where you might not be able to control yourself.
It's not his fault that he finds you attractive, and that in this situation you were so willing to go this far.
He has no aversion or objection to what you two did, he doesn't think it was wrong, and he doesn't think less ofyou for doing it. He did what he did because he wanted to and his values justified it.
He's just been waiting for this type of interaction probably until you initiated, or until "the situation arose" that you didn't object.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
You said he felt bad, maybe because you felt bad.
Carrie