Sometimes I wonder
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|Fri, 08-17-2012 - 11:31am|
I got out of an extremely toxic and loveless 7 year relationship. I was unhappy for years and was told that I could never makeit on my own. I held on for so long because I felt helpless and because we had two kids.
Anyways since then I have moved on and have found happiness. I definitely know now what it feels like to be loved and to love. I don't feel controlled and I feel like I am able to be the person I am meant to be, not who some one else want me to be.We recently moved in with each other and things are going good but problems are starting to a raise, some that I don't know if I'm over reacting.
First, he has three kids all the same ages as mine and he has been divorced for a couple years. I am the first relationship since then. Him and his ex are still really, really close and still expects a lot from him. I told him it bugs me how close they still are and that I want to be the one he turns to, not her. He has since only communicated about their kids and cut out all the other. Which is great, but am I in the wrong?
My problem is that he's always broke. OK, I get it as I am a single mom and I have NO support from anyone else but MYSELF. But all his money goes to his ex. They agreed on a certain amount and he pays it. But she's unemployed and asks him to provide more means since she's not. And for the sake of pleasing her, he gives her more.. And more.. And more. we recently had to cancel our plans this weekend because she told him that she needed money to buy the kids food (HEALREADY PAID his support this month) I am in confusion as to why she needed more money. She lives with her parents and pays no rent, has no car payment, no child care payment, and receives unemployment in addition to child support. So he agreed and gave her an extra 200 so she could feed the kids....... I was so ticked because he lives with me, he is nearly always broke and I have to pick up the slack.
But it got me thinking is he ever going to be a provider for me and my family or are we going to keep coming across this?He's really good at heart and makes me feel happy but I am letting this financial issue get in the way. I keep hoping that he'll overcome this financial runt that he's in but I still feel she'll still keep asking for more. Did I mention that she still tries to have control over him? She told him that she wants him to get sniped because she doesn't want him have anyone else kid??