Sorry but I had to start another topic
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| Thu, 10-07-2004 - 10:05am |
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlrelationsh&msg=19707.1
PLEASE CHECK OUT THIS LINK AND REALISE THAT THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY AND SPOUSES AND PARTNERS NEED TO CREATE JOINT ACCOUNTS ON HERE.
Advice from people here on just hearing a one sided story is very toxic at times.This woman in this link seems to need advice and everyone assumes she needs to get a divorce because the husband is not willing to seek counselling.Have we heard his side of the story to assume divorce?.Why can't two people secure a joint username and password just like my girl and I did and hear both sides.In this link the woman doesn't seem to want a divorce.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlrelationsh&msg=19711.1&ctx=0

About the links you posted in regards to a woman who was told to get a divorce:
Almost in every post (where there is a serious problem in a longterm relationship or marriage) people who reply suggest getting counseling.
But what should a woman do who is having a hard time with her spouse? (either because of physical or emotional abuse or other severe problems)
If the man refuses counseling, if he refuses to read a book on relationships, if he refuses to change.... what can we as readers of these type of posts suggest. Well, we tell her to get a divorce because if she is unhappy and in a relationship that is unhealthy for herself and her kids, and her man refuses change, why would we tell her to stay and put up with it. Without the man changing, she will be trapped and he will continue to be the way he is. Sometimes people tell the woman to enter counseling on her own (if her husband won't go) and I am sure that the counselor is going to end up recommending her separating or divorcing her husband if improvements aren't made.
AS far as your situation -- you 2 need to break up or at least separate - live apart-- this is what I think - my opinion based on what she and you have written. Violence in a relationship is never good and she has no right to be hitting you EVER.
And you both (even though I know the reasons) moved in together WAY TOO FAST and trust issues and communication problems are the result.