Spark is gone...
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Spark is gone...
| Sat, 07-17-2004 - 12:15am |
Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly two years. About a month ago,he went for a vacation and met this girl. When he came back, he decided to be honest with me and told me that he has a crush on her. But he told me that he still loves me,and he would never leave me. He also said that it was just a harmless crush and that he can never imagine being with her in a relationship. As expected, even though he tried to comfort me, I was upset. I was upset more because he said what he felt for her was what he felt for me the first time when he saw me. Now, that period has more or less pass, although I have to admit that I no longer trust him as how I use to. But I do know that he still loves me. Over the past few months, especially the past two weeks, me and my boyfriend have been fighting a lot over very small matters. Two days ago, we had a talk about our relationship and both of us agreed that the spark that use to be in this relationship has gone. I keep on thinking about all the good tmes we had and I cannot bear to leave him even though sometimes when we really fought badly,the idea do come across my mind. The way he talks to me sometimes is like the way he talks to his buddies. Anyway, since both of us have agreed that this relationshihp is getting colder, we decided to relight the spark that was once there. The thing is I need suggestions as to what and how both of us can do to re-ignite the spark once more.

On how to liven up the relationship-
Go out of your way to do things for him that you used to do...whether that be a special meal, flowers, a card, a shirt, tickets to a sporting event, whatever.
You might also want to surprise him with sexy lingerie, maybe a surprise massage, and a romantic, passion-filled evening.
You may not be the one who wants to initiate, but putting forth that effort, might bring him enough excitement to want to do the same.
Getting this "spark" back is on both of you- but you need to realize that the feelings you felt at the beginning of the relationship are hard to recapture. Just because it was new, there was pressure to impress the other, and both of you were experimenting. You can still try new things, re-visit old memories, and re-play things.
It's not something that you can do on your own, but you can definately get the ball rolling if you choose.
If the 2 of you have been fighting recently...what makes you think that a "spark reignition" will sustain or eliminate any future confrontations?
As much as you'd probably like to keep the past alive...men and women change as a relationship starts to "season!" And if your b/f sought the comfort of another woman, there's never going to be a 100% total commitment to YOU!
Perhaps this is something you can accept? But I sense that there will always be a little suspicion on your side as to whether your b/f might take up with someone else? Are you willing to 'chance this possibility' in exchange for "reigniting the spark?"
Pianoguy