Stand up and be a man!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Stand up and be a man!!!
6
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 7:02am

I've been with my man for 2 and a half years now. We get on great and love each other very much.


We both have the star sign Libra so we

Nanette

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 9:27am

Hi Netbevaz!

There are millions of couples out there doing the exact same thing. "What restaurant do you want to go to? What do you want for your Birthday? What do you want me to wear? And so on. This wore on my nerves for many years too. Now, most of the time I just pick something. And for dinner, I just go down and make something. Or ask him to make something. (I will not however, pick out my own gifts.)

I think men like it this way anyway. They are afraid of choosing something we wont like and making us mad. That worry is worse than the little tiffs going back and forth about what to do.

Don't let this be a big issue in your relationship. There are millions of other issues that rate much higher on the scale.

Jesacomi

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 12:37pm

Welcome to the board netbevaz,


Some suggestions - know what you want and don't be afraid to speak up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 3:52pm

Welcome to the board netbevaz,


How about giving him something to choose from. Like do you want steak or chicken, corn or beans, etc. Maybe that would help. Or you could simply refuse to decide and make him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 4:51pm
I completely feel your pain--my fiance and I are the same way! It has nothing to do with our astrological signs through; I think it stems from not wanting to displease the other person. At any rate, I've found great success with giving two (sometimes three) options: "I feel like eating __here___ or __there___ tonight; pick whatever sounds good to you and we'll go at 630pm." But oh man, did it take many nights of going back and forth, back and forth before I realized the solution.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 8:24pm

You say you love him and you get on great. That's wonderful. And, also he has qualities that are difficult for you. Nobody is perfect. You have to look at the larger picture of the relationship. If you basically love each other and get on well, then perhaps you may have to learn how to tolerate some qualitty he has, like indecision, that is difficult for you. All in all it'a question of how important this is? Does it overshadow everything else? Does it ruin the rest of your relationship. When you look at all the qualities you love about him, where does this stack up? Perhaps you could just accept his indecisiveness, make the plans and let it go at that. However, if this feels too upsetting for you, and you can't stand it, then this quality is overshadowing everything else. If it's something you can't live with, then either he goes for therapy and tries to work it through, or the relationship cannot last.


You decide.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 9:40pm
Why does he need to "stand up and be a man" when he can't answer the same question you can't? Sounds to me like you just want to find something to gripe about.