Starting New From Infidelity

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Starting New From Infidelity
2
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 8:01pm
My husband works with a woman that he made a pass at. After months of investigating and talking with both of them I found out that nothing physical happened. She actually turned him down and, because she knows me, told my husband that he should be lucky to have me. That is the reaction you'd want any woman to have! After 8 months of dealing with the anger & hurt my husband & I are doing well. The problem is I work part time from home for the same business that my husband and this woman work for. I really had no problems lately until I saw her when I had to go up to the business. All of the emotions & feelings came back. My husband really wants me to continue to work with him. Since I do have to contact this woman(who didn't really do anything wrong) periodically I am having a very hard time with this. I feel I am being generous in allowing my husband to work with her (he's in his dream job!). But I don't understand why he doesn't understand how seeing her makes me feel threatened. Any advice is welcome. I am very much at the end of my rope with this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 8:43pm
It seems you are placing a lot of the emphasis on this woman, her reaction, your interaction with her, etc. What about your husband? He is the one who made the pass, who disrespected you, who wanted to cheat. Who else has he made a pass at and what was their reaction? Why is he acting on his attraction to other women? What is lacking in your marriage?

Have you thought about marriage counseling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 1:54pm
I think I can understand why you feel the way you do about her... while your husband is clearly the one at fault here - every time you see her you are reminded 1) of what your husband is attracted to, 2) of what you husband ALMOST did, what he wanted to do, and 3) it makes you feel bad about yourself because you compare yourself to her.


Carrie