Stay or End It All? Long.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2007
Stay or End It All? Long.......
5
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 11:45pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 12:41am

If neither of you want to be in this marriage, then I think you should move on. You will both undoubtedly feel like you've had a breath of fresh air when you leave.

Could you explain more about divorce making you bankrupt? If you are not bankrupt now, why would divorce change that? You do know that divorce needn't cost a fortune in lawyers if you can settle things between you amicably?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 12:49am

The divorce would bankrupt us because we have no equity in our home we just purchased 6 months ago. We also live nearly paycheck to paycheck plus the costs of each having to get our own places and such. It all adds up and we have no savings. We will lose money (appx $15K) selling our home; 15K of which we don't have lying around. :(


I'm not sure there is any other solution for us; neither of us can afford to keep the house which is sad. If there was a way, believe me, I would keep it!


Thanks for your reply! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 7:51am
Since the two of you are such good friends, can you live together as roommates while you make plans to divorce? Just because you have decided to end the marriage, it doesn't have to happen by the end of the week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 12:02pm

We have discussed exactly this. I just would hate for him to miss out on an opportunity for someone who is right for him, or me for that matter because of the living situation. Plus, we don't plan on notifying family until the end is drawing near.


Very confusing time right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 8:20pm

I have just gotten divorced in december, stayed rather friendly with my exhusband, who i own a townhouse with. as in your case, neither my exhusband or i can afford to live in our townhouse alone, so we are in the process of selling it. our divorce was uncontested, we just wrote out a divorce agreement stating how the finances would be split, and that we were both responsible for half of the mortgage until it was sold.

i don't understand why you have to go bankrupt when you divorce. it sounds like you two are on good terms... there's no harm in putting your house up for sale, both staying there until it sells, and seeing what happens. and you can wait to divorce, or go ahead with the proceedings. either way, you have to get rid of the house, so i would start with that.

talk to him about how he feels about getting a divorce, but you both still living there and possibly seeing other people. maybe not necessarily bringing other people around, as that would be awkward... i think you can make this work if you're both on the same page.

i don't know what the housing market is like in your area, but hopefully your house will be sold in under a year, which will give you some time to sort your life out and find out what you want next.