stay or go WHICH ONE??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2008
stay or go WHICH ONE??
5
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 4:30pm

Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together since 11-1-05. We were always together and were like best friends BUT now that we moved in with my sister and her boyfriend<-wich is my boyfriend's Best friend, we have been arguing a lot because it seems like he is dissing me over his "boy"....he works from 4pm to 12am everyday except weekends and i miss hm a lot so of course

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 2:03pm

Welcome to the board mommy_nycha,


It's hard to be with someone that doesn't act like they want to be with you and won't spend time with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2008
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 2:48pm
Thank yo so much I will defintely look for those books(i love to read)...I'll talk to him and keep u posted :D Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2008
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 5:25pm
So I talked to him and told him that what he was doing was bothering me and I ask him why he was acting like that and he told me that is because he THINKS that I slept with somebody else! I just cant believe he would think something like this...When I met him I was a virgin so he took my virginity and for him to think something like that just hurts like hell I thought he knew me!! So than i tell him that mayb we should break up but he dosent want to. I mean how is our relationship gonna get any better if he thinks that?? I feel like
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 06-15-2008 - 8:19pm
Lots of times the person doing the cheating accuses the other one of cheating.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 1:30pm

It's not a matter of stay or go. It's a matter of working on your relationship. All relationships have bumps along the road. Whether the relationship works out or not depends upon whether the couple can talk things through and have the tools and skills which permit them to work their issues through. He needs to learn how to stay and talk instead of run away when he's upset. If he can't do this on his own, a few sessions with a couples counsellor would help. Perhaps he feels he'd be criticized if he expressed his feelings? Perhaps he himself doesn't know what he feels. It sounds as though he could use more self awareness. Tell him that these patterns are disturbing for you and for the relationship and that you'd like to find a way for the two of you to work them out and find better solutions. If he is unwilling to do so, if he will not face things and try to change, then he is not someone with whom it will be easy to build a lasting, positive healthy relationship.


Best wishes,