Step parenting blues!!
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Step parenting blues!!
| Wed, 03-14-2007 - 5:44pm |
HELP!! My husband and I have been married for 6 yrs and we have a 5 yr old son .Recently we gained full custody of his 11 yr old son.Everybody says what such a good kid he is ..but let me tell ya!! That kid has tried to come between us from day 1!! He will fight and argue with me about anything then when his dad is involved he does what hes told!! Makes me look evil!! I try to be nice and get along with him..but I have certain expectations from an 11 yr old that no one else does!! I think he should be making his bed and hanging his own clothes and putting his dishes in the dish washer and small things like that..but it is a constant battle to get him to do them!! When his dad is there he does them right away but when its me he says I'll do it later or in a minute or wont even do it at all!! His dad had told him ,when we first got married that he didnt have to listen to anybody but him!! PROBLEM #1!!!My husband and i fight alot more now that he lives with us and he just sits back with htis little grin on his face that I just wanna RIP off!!But I am the problem , my husband says!! I am tired and about ready to leave the situation but my 5 yr old needs his dad , too...right???

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I feel for you. I'm sorry I don't have any advice. I'm not very fond of tweens so I thought I'd speak up and offer some support.
I think there's also a step-parenting board somewhere on this site. Here is the link to the family/parenting board. http://parenting.ivillage.com/messageboards#6qszpfzs
Good luck.
Hi mamabase,
I recommend you check out the step-parenting board as well, but wanted to add:
::My husband and i fight alot more now that he lives with us and he just sits back with htis little grin on his face that I just wanna RIP off!!
Sounds like your step-son enjoys causing havoc.
I understand the plight of being married to a man with a child who lives with you. I also know what it's like to raise a step-son who knows how to manipulate. I was expected to work, cook, clean, help my SS with homework, take him to the doctors, dentist, religious classes, sports activities and go to school conferences, etc. The teachers contacted me whenever there was an issue because my ex was not around when problems needed addressing. I would punish my step son only to have my (now ex) husband walk in the door at night and undo it. I finally realized how disrespectful my ex was after I invested 13 years with this man. After I divorced, my councelor told me I should have left 5 years sooner!
Your husband and your step son appear to have little regard for your reasonable rules.
What do you think your husband is teaching your 5 year old by allowing your stepson to disrespect you? I think that's a major problem that needs to be addressed before your son starts to treat you the way your step son does. Go to a councelor who deals with step parenting issues. Yes, your son needs a dad, but one who teaches respect and values.
gridphn
Hi again,
There has to be a middle ground, would he be willing to go to counseling with you?
Are you in the US?
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