stepmom 9 years. Should I leave?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
stepmom 9 years. Should I leave?
1
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 9:12am
I have been a stepmom for 9 years to 2 wonderful boys ages 10 and 12. I am the only mother that they know. My husband and I have had alot of problems lately starting with a major communication breakdown. In the last 2 months he has become distant not only emotionally but sexually as well. To be honest in the last 2 weeks I have become so frusterated with all this that I have become a royal b*tch. I can admit that. I have tried to remain calm and look over his attitude. It is very hard to do so. He comes home from work at 2:30 lays on the couch and goes to sleep till about 6:00 (in time for supper) eats, takes a bath, and then lays back on the couch till 9:00 playing a handheld game. I have tried, begged and cried to him trying to get thim to understand that the children and I need some attention but all he says is "I dont know why you feel that way, there is nothing wrong with me and yall get all the attention yall need by me paying the bills. Now leave me alone and stop feeling that way" That hurts. No matter how he words it or how nice his voice is.

What am I suppost to do? I want to leave but I want to stay. I love his children with all my heart. They are my children no matter what the birth certificate says. Do I stay or do I leave???????? HELP!!!!
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 10:25am

Well, clearly he has had some kind of break or change in the past two months and his behavior is reflecting it. Right now he is unwilling to take responsibility for what's going on or how his behavior is affecting you. It seems to me that you need to consult with a professional counsellor to work on this. You'll need help and support in getting him to deal with his issues (if that's possible). And if it isn't, you'll need help in knowing how to deal with the entire situation, including these two sons and now losing them. It's complicated, with many emotional and legal ramifications and I suggest you seek professional counselling on how to handle it.


Best wishes.