Still Having Problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Still Having Problems
1
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 12:04pm
My ex and I recently saw each other and we had sex. But b4 that we dicussed that we wanted to work on becoming friends. He said that he just really doesn't want girls in his life right now relationship wise cause all they'll do is mess him up. He said he is trying to find out what he wants in life and no girl can help him do that. He told me that when he is ready for a realtionship I'll be the 1st he comes to. Well, for awhile when I would call him he would be very mean and hostile to me. And I discussed with him that if he still wants me in his life then he's going to have to be nicer to me and if he can't do that then it would be best for us not to talk. He said he was sorry for being mean and he was just still angry at me for breaking up with him. Well then we had sex and hung out for awhile like we use to and everything was great. I called him the next day and told him I wanted to give him something which was an invitation to my graduation and I asked if I could swing by. He told me that I confuse him b/c I said that it be best if we didn't talk for awhile and I called him the next day. Well, I'm confused as well b/c he kept stressing the fact of us being friends but as soon as I said I wanted some he was ready. For some reason I think that he doesn't want to get back w/ me b/c he is afraid that I'll hurt him again, which I can understand. I don't know if I should stress to him that I want to know whatt we are friends? associates? I think it would be too hard for him not to be in my life but I know how guys are when a girl seems to needy but he also said he needs me. So my question is..should we still be friends and have sex w/ strict rules, should I call him and ask him what we are, or should I just leave it alone and move on. Thinking about it is killing me and one person shouldn't cause me so much stress.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:39pm
::should we still be friends and have sex w/ strict rules, should I call him and ask him what we are, or should I just leave it alone and move on.

Being just friends is easier to do if you aren't having sex with him. Don't call him, let him call you and see how it goes. Focus on your healing. Sometimes saying 'we're friends' is the polite thing to say, but it doesn't mean you are going to 'hang out' as friends.

Hopefully someone else has some good advice for you.


Carrie