Still waiting for proposal after 6 years

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Still waiting for proposal after 6 years
1
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 1:55pm
I'm hoping for some advice. My BF and I have been together for almost 6 years, we are both 26 years-old. After dating for about 3 years we moved in together, which I thought was great, but apparently it freaked him out a little. So after our one-year lease was up, he decided he needed a "break" from the relationship. A few months later he called me saying he loved me and wanted to try things again. I took him back. That was Valentine's day of this year. Since then we've been doing the long-distance thing, as he was finishing up medical school rotations around the country and just recently started his internship in Michigan. I live in Philadelphia. Things have been great, we see eachother every 4 weeks or so, but I find myself needing more at this point. We always talked about marriage in the past, but it was hypothetical. Now's the time for it to be real, and he still freaks out about it. My issue is that after 6 years he should know what he wants. We can't live hundreds of miles away from eachother forever. I can't just be his girlfriend once a month when we visit. Right? So now I've really been trying to get an answer out of him one way or the other. He says he doesn't want to be pressured about it, but I need to know soon. On top of all this a friend of mine, who I have to mention is extremely hot and a nice guy, has a bit of a crush on me. We hang out a couple times a month, and always have fun together. Well, he kissed me last weekend. I stopped him and reminded him of my situation, which he respected. Now I find myself thinking, "why am I passing up this great guy, when my boyfriend of 6 years says he can't promise me anything right now?" I'm just worried that the BF will never get up the courage to propose and I will have let another great guy pass me by. I love my BF and can't imagine my life without him, but I can't wait forever. How long is too long in this situation? Do I tell the BF how I'm feeling and about this other guy? Help!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 2:33pm
It hard to know what to do. While I agree after 6 years he should have some idea of what he wants, he's still young. You might approach it this way since he doesn't want to be pressured. "I respect that you don't want to be pressured about our future, yet I feel compelled to tell you how I feel and what I'm thinking. It's very hard to be a once a month girlfriend when we visit. I think it's in both our best interest to go our separate ways. This way it gives both of us the freedom to explore other options."

Go from there.


Carrie