Strip Clubs?
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Strip Clubs?
| Mon, 03-15-2004 - 8:53am |
OK Here is my background. I am 24yrs old and recently divorced after 5yr marriage. My Ex was an alcoholic, abusive and he cheated. Now flash forward to now and I have met an awesome guy. Wonderful, everything I could ever ask for and more. But last night we got into a discussion about Strip Clubs. I completely disagree with him going to one, and he even told me he has had several lap dances. For some reason this has totally upset me. He has lots of single friends and for every bachelor party the all head out to a strip club. Basically last night he said he still plans on going, and he knows this upsets me, but he has no plans of changing. He only goes for bachelor parties, but to me just once is more than enough! It makes me soo insecure to be intimate with him, just knowing he has paid for a naked woman to dance for him. I think I am cute, but i have insecurities about my small breasts, and he knows this. I also think that I may be over reacting because of my ex cheating on me. Am I overreacting? Should he go, and am I to be ok with it? Please help!! Thanks

I know what you are talking about when you say how it makes you feel about him going...even it is for bachelor parties...take it from someone who is getting married very soon and who's fiance will be and has gone to many a strip club..there not as bad as you think.I used to be very against them, and still arent the biggest fan of them, but i trust my SO.Your trust needs to be stronger than your insecurites to get past this...
Have you thought about seeking counseling for your past?This might help you in the future..just something to think about...
My boyfriend and I talked about this when we first got together.... he knew a guy that got a divorce because he was always going for lap dances and charged a ton a money in one night at a place - I'm talking upwards of $600 - $1000 dollars. Anyway, my boyfriend had been to clubs in the past or bachalor parties that included entertainment - he said that he can't understand why men pay for this stuff and said that it's false intimacy and his personal opinion is that men that have intimacy issues partake. I am grateful that he and his friends have outgrown (grew up, matured, whatever) and don't feel the need to go to these kind of places and I'm glad he doesn't want to.
We agreed when we first got together that neither of us would find it acceptable for the other to get a lap dance and/or frequent these places. But the key is that we agree on this no matter if we are right or wrong in the eyes of other people.
You have to decide what you can live with and what you can't live with.
Carrie
Even my ex (of 5 years) never went to those things and he knew too, that I wasn't having that. One night, my ex and I were with a group of friends having a barbeque, (couples, husbands and wives) and afterwards the husbands were dying to leave the wives and go to the strip club. And all the wives seemed to be okay with it! I was stunned. I told my ex, there was no way in hell he was ever going to go. And he didn't much want to either. I know if I openly told my husband or my ex that I wanted to go to a male review they would $hit their pants. LOL.
Tell him, kewl if you want to go out with your friends and pay for lap dances. That is when you go out with your girlfriends and ditch him. Maybe you ought to try some of that reverse psychology. I am not the type that would sit around and stand for that, I would be going out enjoying myself and go party with some dudes. LOL! Heck, you and your girlfriends get some hot dudes from the club and come back to your place and party down. See how he likes that for a change. If he sees something at stake , he might change his mind about it. LOL!
Tiffany