STRIP CLUBS - Yay or nay when you're in a relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
STRIP CLUBS - Yay or nay when you're in a relationship?
12
Tue, 11-06-2012 - 10:49am

Hey, everyone. I'm curious to know how both the men and women out there feel about this. I've been with my BF for 4 months. Our relationship was very sexual from the beginning and I actually made it a point to keep it only on that level for a while because i didn't want a serious relationship. But time has passed and emotions can't be denied so here he is telling me he loves me and here I am realizing I think I feel the same. We really enjoy our time together, etc. BUT I have never been someone who would condone my BF going to strip clubs unless for a bachelor party. This guy has been going to them for years with one friend in particular and even dated and lived with a stripper for a couple of years just prior to our relationship. I don't judge, I don't really care about his past - everybody has one. However, now I'm wondering if I should be offended that he still goes occasionally, like twice a month. I've never asked him to stop and I don't think he has any intention of doing so. Ladies, how would you feel about this? And guys, why would you continue going to strip clubs if you're having great sex with a hot girl whom you claim to love? FYI, we're both intensely sexual people, possibly more than most and I don't feel insecure about this just a little confused as to whether I'm not seeing the big picture because this is a completely alien experience for me. Your comments and opinions are greatly appreciated.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012

OK, here's a little bit of hilarious for you. I just realized that I've never even asked him which strip club his ex works at because I know that after they split, she went back to dancing and I'm wondering if she's at the one he frequents. It's probably where they met, lol. That kind of opens a whole new can of worms, doesn't it? It occurs to me that while he's very open about viewing porn, going to the strip club, partying with friends, I don't think he's the kind of person who would volunteer that particular information - a selective sort of honesty, if you know what I mean. I'm actually debating whether I even like this guy anymore. He has stated emphatically that he's never been unfaithful to anyone before, without my even questioning him (obviously I don't question enough, lol). But I think a woman, at least this woman, needs to feel secure in a relationship in order to really commit herself to it and I'm kind of heading in the opposite direction - as in, on to the next. So, that was just a little side rant. Please continue responding to my original post. I'm really curious how others weigh in on this.

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Regularly attending them does seem a little sleazy in my opinion, even outside of a relationship. But I assume it's not like he is having sex with the strippers - maybe he just enjoys the show. You ask why a man would continue going to strip clubs when he's having great sex with a hot girl but it's not like he is choosing the strip club over having sex with you. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. If it makes you uncomfortable, ask him to cut back on the frequency. If he's unable to do that, then I'd be concerned there was some kind of addiction.

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