A little background:
If thi is new behavior, then of course something is wrong with him.
I was going to suggest that he go to EAP.
It's delusional for him to look at these episodes of violent behavior in his life and, instead of thinking HE might be the common denominator, blaming everyone else for exaggerating.
I think you should wait until your anger dies down and then talk with him during a time he is not upset. I would use these words:
"If you don't want to get counseling that's up to you, but this became a huge problem for me when you made me feel threatened physically. If you don't intend to make changes to your anger with a professional, I'm not going to stay in a house, or let my children stay in a house, where anger becomes physical. Please just do this for your family and for the sake of your job."