stuck in my mind with husband's flirtitious past..need help!want to talk it out

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2011
stuck in my mind with husband's flirtitious past..need help!want to talk it out
8
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 10:56pm

hey

ive been married for 4.5 yrs now and in the first yr of my marriage i found some intimate pics of my husband with other girls.i know it isnt a big deal these days but

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007

Did you not know about his past experiences before you married him ? Bringing it up now is of no use.You should have thought about this before you married him.

Now all you can do is to accept that he, just like any other person ,has a past AND its normal .For you it isnt but I am sure he didnt hid it earlier.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2011

no i didnt know ths abt him.he says he knew wht kind of complications this coudve brought to our relationship so thts why he thought not to let me know so tht i dont start doubting him unneccessarily. and also cos he says he's sure he loves me more than anything and thts why he didnt want me to think anything shad abt him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

It isn't unusual, and in fact it's normal for men to have relationships when they're young and unattached.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004

As the others have said, there is nothing you can do about his past. Your husband has a past. He had a life before you. We all had a life before we met our spouses or significant others. The alternative to just getting over this, is to divorce him and find a man who is a virgin. Good luck with that. Even if he tells you he is a virgin, how do you know for sure? You don't, as evidenced by your husband not telling you about his past. So even if you think you know the truth, do you really and how could you ever be 100% confident you know the truth unless you can scan the guys brain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2011

well thanks all for the advice :)

@khatru1 well i didnt mean tht i wanted a seal packed guy with a clean slate i know no ones like tht but all i was trying to express is tht i dont get teh point of my husband trying to hide all ths frm me instead of taking me into his confidence once and explain everything to me so tht i can trust him more.he's a charmer and its right infront of me tht he doesnt have to try to get teh femal attraction i witnessed ths myself many times.so tht swhy i just get a little insecured..anyways thts life i guess..i just couldnt talk to anyone in my family or friends abt it cos i dont want them to give a flirtitious impression with regard to my husband tht swhy i postd it here..i never have posted anything on any public forum like ths so thanks all for replying

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007

Don't let fear make you crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
dawn_z84 wrote:

...all i was trying to express is tht i dont get teh point of my husband trying to hide all ths frm me instead of taking me into his confidence once and explain everything to me so tht i can trust him more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2011

hmm yeah i gues si should just try to let it all go..wish me luck all