Suggestions please

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2008
Suggestions please
5
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 10:08pm
How do you save your relationship from ending?? How do you stop all the arguing when most of it seems silly anyways to be arguing about to me but to him its not silly?? How do we understand one another better ?? I feel in the dark alot with what my man is trying to make me understand ..we are so different in so many ways.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 06-09-2008 - 12:19am

Welcome to the board mizzneedhelp,


Is counseling an option? If so, go together.


Reading material to consider:


Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw


Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman


Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix


A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman


Read them to each other or separately.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-09-2008 - 3:52pm

Your answer to your question is right in your own email - communication. Instead of arguing, instead of seeing who's right or who comes out on top, learn some really fine communication techniques, where you put your own view aside for awhile, and try learn how to hear and acknowledge where he's coming from. And he too, does that for you. You save a relationship by communicating honestly, extending respect, listening and trying to fulfill what it is your partner asks of you. Have him tell you clearly what he wants and needs and do your best to give it to him. And the reverse as well. You let him know what you need and how he can make you feel content.


All good wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 12:39pm

Welcome to the board,


It seems like your main problem is wit communication. I don't see things getting any better until you can learn to communicate better with each other. Since you say you don't understand him alot have you ask him to explain these things to you so that you can figure out where he is coming from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2008
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 1:49pm

Z
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 1:59pm
P.E.T. is an excellent book.....for the OP it means Parent Effectiveness Training.




angels