support needed!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
support needed!
4
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 6:32pm
i broke up with my bf of 9 and half months. i love(d) him very much, but he was the one who started having second thoughts and it's not the first time. it wasn't fair to me so i had to call it quits. deep inside i knew it was the right thing to do, but it's so hard when he goes to the same school i do and i hang out with his friends! thoughts of him coming back to me is frequent, but i know with the distance we share now, it's almost impossible and i don't even know if i want him back if he's always going to have doubts about me. any advices how how to mentally move on and actually be happy without him? i need to get over him. i need to love myself and live for my own happiness! help needed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: melody127
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 7:29pm
Here is the link to your first post. It may be helpful for other readers:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlrelationsh/?msg=17387.1

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
In reply to: melody127
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 9:56am

Im sure you still care for him deeply, but you knew what had to be done for yourself, and you did it- congrats on being that much further ahead than most people. I commend you on your courage, self respect and dignity. Unfortunatley, these feelings you share for him cannot be shut off like a faucet , not will they dissappear overnight.


Get into thing sthat you may have neglected before...(old friends, that book collecting dust on your shelf, a hobby). Youa re going to have your bad days- but you'll have your good too. Eventually, the good will outnumber the bad and you will look back at this as a learning experience (as you should).


Surrond yourself with loving, caring people who are willing to be your support group thry all of this.. you already have tons here.:)


Best wishes,


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2003
In reply to: melody127
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 6:42pm
thanks!

we still talk from time to time, nothing serious. but yeah its kind of awkward and things seem really different, but at least we could still stand each other.

a guy asked me to prom last night and i said yes. im happy about it - its chance for me to have fun and move on (not to someone else but to my life)? anyway, thank you so much. i believe that this pain should be short-termed. if i stayed with him and things never changed, it'd be a lot more painful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: melody127
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 7:13pm
Honey you've joined the club of the broken hearted. It takes going through stages of grief to overcome your heartache. There is nothing magical to take the pain away. Just remember you are not alone.

You will find someone else, life goes on. In the meantime, get out and have fun. Be carefree. You are young and should be doing the things young people do.

I feel for you and hope the best for you.