surprise, your marriage is dying

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
surprise, your marriage is dying
18
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 10:00am

That's how I feel.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 7:02pm

He knows it's a big deal not to do it right there in my face because I TOLD him already.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 7:12pm

Accept his apology. Stop with the sarcastic attitude. Reach out to him genuinely, tell him what you want to do, how you need his help, and what you'd like to achieve. If you fight his fire with your own, you'll get nowhere. Someone has to douse the flames, why can't it be you?


This is actually the FIRST time I have NOT just "let it go" or tried to "be the bigger person".


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 7:24pm
You're quoting a post that I deliberately deleted after learning more of the situation
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 7:27pm
oh, sorry bout that- it was up when I was typing and clicked 'back' button, didn't know it'd been deleted.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 7:41pm

No offense taken, I objectively understand that this is a highly emotionally-charged situation. =)


I am naturally objective. I can understand marital frustration, it happens frequently; to most couples at some point during the course of their marriage. I never meant to imply that he is perfect, I simply want to help you see that there are two sides to every coin. You feel emotionally neglected by him, so you're not feeling particularly sexual, where his point may be that he's being refused sexually, so he doesn't feel emotionally connected to you... Ah, the differences of the sexes.


My suggestion would be for the both of you to calm down....


I have never, nor would I ever insinuate that you should not consider your own

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:00pm

I definitely understand what you're saying, I often say it myself, or even to myself, but there came a point where I grew tired of always taking high road, with *what feels like* no reciprocation.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:30pm

Wow at the fact he'd bring his daughter into his marital problems, and his other manipulative tactics. Just...Wow...


I truly think that you've been almost *too* understanding in some areas, however, I'm not a proponent of the 'shoulda coulda woulda' game- All we can do is go from here. I agree with you about taking a firm stand, particularly against that manipulation, however, I also feel that the stand you should take is one that includes seeing a marriage counselor together.


I wish you the very best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:55pm

Xyro, given your more recent posts on this thread, it's hardly a "surprise" that your marriage is dying.

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