"Taking a Break"
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| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 11:50am |
I went over the other night to see him and we started talking about our relationship. He indicated to me that he is very tense - he is not sure how he feels about me (he knows that he cares, but not sure how much) and he is not sure what he wants from us and our relationship. After discussing some things, I suggested that maybe it was best to take some time apart from each other. We both agreed. I told him to take the time that he needs to figure things out - whether that be a week or 3 weeks. He told me that he doesn't think that it will take that long. I told him that I will wait - although I will not wait forever for his decision. He understood and that was where we left it. I think there are several factors adding to his stress (other than our relationship). One being he has a 12 year old son. His son has been with him the entire summer to this point, and only went home to his mother 2x (this is not normal - even he told me this). I think this is getting to him a bit because he can't really go out and do things with anyone unless he takes his son, or someone in his family is home to watch him. Other things adding to the stress are some family issues and things at work. I am not surprised that he is stressed - we all get like this and need time to ourselves.
One of the problems that has been apparent in our relationship - at least on my part - has been one of his friends. He has been friends with her for some time and he even liked her at one point before we got together. (She didn't feel the same). Ever since she found out we were dating, she has done everything in her power to make things difficult for us and try to break us up. Whether it be starting rumors or just causing trouble in general. Early in our relationship, I expressed my feelings about her to him. I have had some past problems with her when she was dating my best friends ex-boyfriend (I was still friends with him). My b-friend always denied that anything was going on between them. He said that she knew that we were dating and that nothing would happen between them - He told me that she had made a comment once that "She could have him anywhere, anytime that she wanted" - and that turned him off and he would never date her after that. I believed him, had no reason not to - just kept my eye on her. A few months back, we went on a last minute roadtrip for a concert. He ended up telling me that I was right about her - they had been together (hanging out) one night and she mentioned something about them getting together. He told her no because he was dating me.
There have been several times I have discovered that he was lying about his contact with her. (1) He always said that she would call him - but one night I checked his cell phone and the history showed that he has called her several times as well. (2) A few weeks ago, we were getting ready for camping and he got 3 calls within 5 minutes. The 1st and 3rd time were the son's mother.-I could hear her on the other line. He said that the 2nd one was also the son's mother, but that the phone was cutting out in the trailer and that he couldn't hear her. He left the camping trailer and went inside the house- saying he got better reception. (I know that his house does not have any good reception. The real reason for that was so that I couldn't hear the conversation - I assumed that it was her.) (3) He admitted once during an argument that she had asked him to go to a movie and that he almost said "yes" - but then changed his mind because he knew how I would feel about it. (4) We went to a recent concert and he told me after I saw him and her talking, that he didn't know that she would be there - until right before we got there (she had ended up going with his sister). -Another kicker - she and the sister are pretty good friends. The part that boggles me is that he gets mad at his sister for being friends with her because he thinks she is using the sister to get to him, but he says nothing to her. Can she do no wrong?? (5) Found out that the girl was moving recently into a new apartment - well, that night as I was coming home from a night out with friends, went by and he was getting home around 2 am! Now, he always said that he couldn't go out with me because of the son - but yet, he can go help her move until 2 am! (6) Was out the other night, the night after we decided to take some time apart, and her ex-boyfriend (my best friend's ex as well) had questioned how we were. I said fine - (I think he has something to do with the problems as well), I don't think it's really any of his business. He said that she told him that my boyfriend broke up with me the night before. I just played it off - I didn't look at all depressed. I know that no matter what I say, things will get back to her.
Any advice on how to handle the "break" or how to deal with the girl?

Carrie