Taking a break
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Taking a break
| Mon, 01-12-2004 - 2:00am |
My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly 4 months now... everything went really fast in the beginning, as soon as we met, we started dating. Anyway, he's been acting weird lately and last nite he asked me to take a break from our relationship for a week or two, because he said i was getting too attatched to him. He also said he doesn't love me and doesn't want me to love him. I was confused by this and he said that he could love me tomorrow if he wanted to, but he needs to take a break and sort stuff out, he says he wants to be 'sure'. Is taking a break a good thing for a relationship like this? I've never been in this situation before and I ffeel really rejected and hurt by what he said....

Perhaps your boyfriend is just completely overwhelmed by the relationship - and feels as if he is not in control of anything. At this point - you have no choice but to give him this break because I feel that if you try to force yourself on him and discuss whatever he is feeling - you will only alienate him more and push him away even further.
Depending on the situation (& the people involved) - taking a break can be a good or bad thing. I have been involved in both types where the relationship sustained and others where it just fell completely apart. I suggest that you just be the supportive girlfriend, giving him his space to figure out whatever, don't pressure him & let him come back to you with a better explanation of what's going on. I don't think you really have much of a choice unless you just want to end this relationship and move on. Use this time to also figure out what's going on with you and where you want to see this relationship go.
Good luck...
Your boyfriend sounds childish and as though he is not ready for being in a mature, growing relationship. He doesn't know how he feels or what he wants. Obviously he is afraid of becoming closer and committed. If I were you, I would let this relationship be a thing of the past. Clearly, you've gotten to a point where he feels things are growing deeper and he is afraid. Find someone who is more mature, healthy and able to allow love to grow in a natural way. Otherwise, you may waste a lot of time and emotion here jockeying back and forth. The problem here is his, not yours. Don't blame yourself for this.
All good wishes.
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