Taking Things The Wrong Way

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2007
Taking Things The Wrong Way
3
Sun, 05-04-2008 - 11:08am
I've been in a relationship,in fact in will be 1 year on the 15th of May 2008. As of this morning she called it off. The reason why is in some things she says or do I take it the wrong way. I act before I think. I need some advice ,help. I dont want this relationship to end
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Sun, 05-04-2008 - 11:37am

I once had a problem with this. There is a term my long ago spanish teacher used to use: to assume is to make an ass out of you and me.

My advise would be before you act on anything...take a minute to do an inner monologue of questions. Ask...did she mean what I think she meant? Take a deap breath during this time to calm down before you react. Before you assume something and "take it the wrong way" ask her a question....a calm question. Try not to attack with your question. Getting clarification may help you prevent taking things the wrong way.

Good luck. Maybe if you want to save the relationship...talk to her and tell her that you are willing to work on this "flaw" that you're so accustomed to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Sun, 05-04-2008 - 6:32pm

Can you elaborate more about what you take the wrong way?


What I have found in dealing with people is that this scenario happens it is because of some baggage that the person carries with him or her that exaggerates sensitivity to things that are said.


I have had friends like this and whenever they took anything I said the wrong way it was because of some notion they had in their head that filtered what I said incorrectly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 05-04-2008 - 10:54pm

Welcome to the board cam0,


I understand the 'taking things the wrong way' and sometimes when we hear something we relate it to something in our past and/or relate their tone to a trigger.