Talking after the breakup?
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| Mon, 04-23-2007 - 5:15pm |
My boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up five days ago. In a nutshell, we had that picture perfect relationship, but his priorities lie in work and other responsibilities, he isn't able to devote the time necessary to our relationship and he feels unsure of our future. He is afriad that at 33 (I am 27) and after 2 years he should have a clear picture of whether we should continue together, and he does not. And because of the unknown, and the anxiety and stress associated, he has ended things. I love this man with all that I am, and I honestly thought I would be with him forever. I understand his unsuredness and his doubts and I am okay with it. But he is not. It was an incredibly difficult decision, I know, and we are both hurting.
Where we left it is that it was up to him when and if he wanted to communicate. He said he would like to check in in a week or two, but that he knew we both needed some time alone right now. I am wondering now, as I've had some time to let this sink in and am beginning to work through it all, what I would say and what we should do. I saw him two days after the breakup, when I went to collect my things from his house. We rehashed, we cried, he apologized over and over, but nothing changed in the end.
At this time, I feel very hurt and very sad. I know he does, too. And mutual friends are in shock and sadness, too. Some say he's made a decision and that is that. Others say that nothing is 100%, he may need time away and fight for this love. I am split both ways, but know that this decision is his and I can't hang my hat on the fantasy that he will change his mind.
When he calls, I don't know what to do. I can ignore it and ignore him, and just never be in touch. Thinking about that is heartwrenching. He's whom I shared it all with and not being in touch with him now is so very hard. I can answer the call and be honest -- we could wind up rehashing it all or we could wind up saying goodbye forever. It kills to imagine never speaking with him again, when he is the only person I want to be in touch with now. And while I know this is hard and he is making a choice and it was a difficult one to make, part of me wants to pour my heart out and not give up.

Hello Erin....
While he may be struggling with the decision that he made, here is where your reality lies"
"We rehashed, we cried, he apologized over and over, but nothing changed in the end. "
"...this decision is his and I can't hang my hat on the fantasy that he will change his mind."
Your friends cannot predict the future and neither can you.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***