technically dead
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technically dead
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 10:41am |
hello all ,
i am a 32 years old man who is very sucsessfull in business , but i have almost forgotten how to live my personal life .
i had a messed up childhood , i never felt like i have parents , i never had a hug from them but alots of sick abuse. i moved out when i was 13 and i have been living alone since then. i have been smoking pot since very early age and then i was addicted to opiom and the injecting heroin for 8 years which i quit 4 years ago .one year ago i had an accident which put me on taking pain killer and i have been taking it regulary since then . also staying at home for ong hours got me in internet porn and i got addicted to it so i have been masterbating at least once a night after spending hours surfing porn sites( what a shame), i work long hours , almst 70 to 80 hours a week and i dont sleep enough , i also have so much hard time sleeping , and also i am carrying a big time depresion from a life that i hardly found moments in it when i truely feel like i am happy , i cant name any in past couple years .and it all happens while i am thinking i have so much talents and i can makes things happen .there is not a single thing in the world that i wish to do , there is not a single thing that i think it might make me happy , i have no wishes and everyday is a nightmare to come home and think of what now ... i am technically dead
i am a 32 years old man who is very sucsessfull in business , but i have almost forgotten how to live my personal life .
i had a messed up childhood , i never felt like i have parents , i never had a hug from them but alots of sick abuse. i moved out when i was 13 and i have been living alone since then. i have been smoking pot since very early age and then i was addicted to opiom and the injecting heroin for 8 years which i quit 4 years ago .one year ago i had an accident which put me on taking pain killer and i have been taking it regulary since then . also staying at home for ong hours got me in internet porn and i got addicted to it so i have been masterbating at least once a night after spending hours surfing porn sites( what a shame), i work long hours , almst 70 to 80 hours a week and i dont sleep enough , i also have so much hard time sleeping , and also i am carrying a big time depresion from a life that i hardly found moments in it when i truely feel like i am happy , i cant name any in past couple years .and it all happens while i am thinking i have so much talents and i can makes things happen .there is not a single thing in the world that i wish to do , there is not a single thing that i think it might make me happy , i have no wishes and everyday is a nightmare to come home and think of what now ... i am technically dead
Signatures On
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 11:49am |
I am not sure what you mean by technically dead, but all of these issues are surely ones that you can fix! I think the first step would be to do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Pick up a hobby, start exercising, whatever it is. Make a point to eat healthier and get a good nights sleep. If you do something positive for yourself, you will inevitably be proud of your accomplishments, and that is the first step in learning to love yourself. You obviously don't like yourself very much, because if you did you wouldn't torment your body (drugs, lack of sleep) or your soul! The next thing you should do is surround yourself with positive people. Being around people you admire is a great way to pick up habits that you think will make you a better person. The next thing you should do (and I don't know too much about your career) is give yourself a break at work! No one should have to work 70 or 80 hours. If there is no getting around this, make a point to do something enjoyable during your time off. Plan a vacation to go see a friend or take a drive somewhere you have never visited. You need to create balance in your life between leisure time and work time. I know this can be hard but it is so important ane will make you much happier! If you've tried all of these things and still struggle with depression, seek a counselor. Your problem may not be entirely fixable on your own and you could benefit from professional help. Best of luck!
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:32pm |
I am not sure if you are at all religious but its sounds like a little faith and prayer can help you. You should persue a personal relationship with God. I have felt technically dead at times and God gets me through those times.
