Tell someone their man is cheating????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2003
Tell someone their man is cheating????
2
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 10:14am
Hi everyone. I posted this on another board, but wanted more opinions. I have quite a dilemma on my hands and I don't know what to do. I have discovered that a co-worker is cheating on his girlfriend with someone else in our office (who just so happens to be his ex), and has been for 4 months now. His girlfriend also works for our company, but she is located in another office in a city an hour away, where she also lives. I have seen this guy out with his ex several times, and it is clearly NOT just a "friendly" relationship. I have overheard their very sexual phone conversations many times. I know they are talking to each other constantly because their office numbers show up clearly on caller id at each of their desks. A friend of mine lives 2 doors away from the guy, and has seen her over at his house late at night. The woman he is cheating on just got out of a nasty divorce and has a 4 year old son. I hate that this is happening to her. Should I tell her what I have discovered? I feel terrible letting this go on right under my nose and not giving her a heads up on this. Or would I be completely overstepping my boundaries???? Please help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 10:23am

As much as Im sure that you'd like to let the cat outta of the bag, Im not sure if its your place. Would this be the only way this woman would find out, is by you?Is there a way to tell her annonymously? Would you be putting your own career at risk by doing this?


These are all considerations Id look at before making your decision. I feel you on wanting to tell her and thinking that she has a right to know because of her child, but doing so may have serious reprocussions to you and that, you dont want.

cl-marsexpert

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 01-27-2004 - 12:39pm
Are you in the HR department? If so, I'd consider talking to them both about their inappropriate behavior at work (I have overheard their very sexual phone conversations many times) and I would tell them that their behavior is unprofessional.

See if that 1) doesn't change things, 2) doesn't shake them up a bit.

As for the girlfriend, I'm not sure she'd want to hear it from you....but depending on how well you know him (if you aren't in HR) you could pull him aside and tell him that if he doesn't come clean with his girlfriend, that you will tell her.


Carrie