Text Messaging...Please respond
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Text Messaging...Please respond
| Mon, 05-24-2004 - 12:12pm |
Okay, I need some advise. I'm a little confused right now on what I should think. I worry about talking to close friends because I don't want them to hold things against my boyfriend in the end. I recently found out that my boyfriend has been text messaging some "old friends" of his. I say old friends in quotes because I had never heard their names before this whole issue came up. I was going through some bills(I wasn't snooping, but should not have seen them I guess) and I saw that he had about 190 text messages on his bill for 1 whole month. This shocked me because I didn't even know that he text messaged people that often. If I get one or two from him a week that's a lot. I saw about 4 numbers that came up multiple times. There would be like 1 day where 20 messages went out to one phone number, but then it wouldn't happen again at all that month. Well being a stupid girl I wrote down the four numbers, blocked my phone number and called them. 1 girl picked up, I hung up. Two went to voicemail and it was a girls voice, no mames were given. And the 4th was a girl named Nancy. When I asked my boyfriend about it, he was upset that I had snooped, to which I said I was sorry. He told me they are old friends who he hasn't really kept in touch with over the years by talking on the phone but every so often they will text message each other back and forth. To me 20 messages seems like a lot to say hey what's up? But he assures me there is nothing to worry about. He spends almost all of his time with me, so I would never even think he was cheating...plus he is really against cheating. His dad used to cheat on his mom and he always swore he would never end up like that. I feel ashamed about what I did, but I'm so hurt by this. I talked with some casual friends and while some feel I have every right to be upset, others feel that it's not really that big a deal and they know how much we love eachother and I shouldn't let it bother me. I'm not sure what to think.
He's never really given me a reason not to believe him. He is a wonderful boyfriend, but this is bugging me. I have aplogised for the whole snooping thing and he let it go. He's very forgiving. I just don't know how to feel though because he never mentions other girls to me except 1 or two that he works with. I asked him about the name Nancy and he said he didn't even know a Nancy which really doesn't make any sense too. Please help!

Now I don't want me to seem perfect. I didn't go snooping the info I found, but I do tend to have trust issues. I had a few very bad relationships where I ended up feeling very stupid for having trusted that person. My current guy is so good, I shouldn't not trust him, but now I don't know what to think. I can get a little jealous very easily, so I get you could say that this is an issue(only for me though).
I did intentionally look at the bill, but I never expected to see those text messages. I was just surprised to see that there were 190 sent so I started looking at who they were sent to. I know it was wrong, but wasn't it wrong for him to send all those messages to other woman? Or am I being unrational?
Reading material:
Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying, Sally Caldwell Ph.D.
When Your Lover is a Liar, Susan Forward
Carrie