Is there something really wrong with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Is there something really wrong with me?
5
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 10:29am

Hey everyone, I've been with my boyfriend of a little over 4 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 10:39am
This is a very fundamental difference between you, and if you can't accept it, you can't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 12:43pm
You don't have to embrace it you just have to accept it and that doesn't mean
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 3:44pm

Welcome to the board collegecowgirl,


No, there is nothing wrong with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 8:24pm

I agree with geo and itwinflame. If this is a deal-breaker for you then it's a deal-breaker.

He does something to which you are highly allergic - there's not much you can do, either he quits or he doesn't, you can't magically become un-allergic. Unfortunately, he has chosen cigarettes. He did make a big compromise to never smoke around you, that's tough to do because I'm sure there are times you are together when he thinks about smoking. But if that isn't enough for you then you have to end the relationship. He's told you that he's not going to quit.

I feel for you because I'm also allergic to cigarettes and would never in a million years date a man who smoked even if it wasn't around me. If my own wonderful guy of 4 years started smoking and had no intention of quitting, the relationship would be over. I guess that is my advice to you, since I think it's unreasonable to ask you to commit to a smoker when I wouldn't do it myself.

I'm really sorry about this. It would be great if no one had to have deal-breakers but this is certainly one for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 7:47am

Thanks everyone for you advice, I have alot to think about.


I love this man so much, yet hate smoking so much... I am really torn about it, but right now I can't really see myself breaking it off.