is there still hope?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
is there still hope?
1
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 5:58am
hi all...

i recently just spoke to my ex of two months. he told me that he's currently undergoing many issues with his identity, his family, etc. and that he doesn't know who he is or what he wants. but he does know that he loves me and that i am a great catch... that i would make a great wife and mother. he also says he's miserable without me and that he likes himself better with me. but he also thinks that it takes more than love to decide to get married. he doesn't know what that "more" is. he CAN marry my but won't because he's holding out for that "more".

this whole situation hurts so much. i know in my heart that we are meant for each other and that we can make each other happy. we've been through so much this past year and circumstances around us didn't exactly make for an easy relationship. but do any of you think he can and/or will change? i am ready to move on with my life whatever he decides to do. i just want to know if there is some chance that we will end up together... maybe not tomorrow or next month, but sometime in the future.

what do you think?

bridget

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 7:14am
Bridget

I think it is never a good idea to go into a relationship trying to change the other person. However, have you put any thought into what he means by “more than love” maybe there is a simple fix you are possibly just over looking. Look into your whole relationship. Is there any problems that may stand out to him; age, money, sex, background, or maybe religion. If he is uncomfortable with something like that, and not real good at discussing issues, maybe there is still hope. Some of these problems are more serious to some people than others. Of course you may not disagree with his thoughts on the subject; you just may not know them. If you found the problem and truly do agree, than this is nothing more than a lack of communication, which I do think could be worked on. Some people need years to know someone in a way in which they can express them self.