think I decided...needing support

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
think I decided...needing support
2
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 11:42pm
Hi again, I am the girl who wrote the LooooonG msg. about my BF of 1 1/2 years who is acting shady. Well today is the last straw. He said he would call me, and he didn't and my best friend just informed me that he is partying downtown tonight. I guess I should have trusted my gut instinct that I was losing him. It doesn't matter now. I guess he just doesn't want to hurt me by letting me go. I mean, isn't there an unwritten law on screwing around with a single mom for over a year and letting her believe you would get married someday? The problem is that I love him. I do, and now I have to deal with that. I know it is easy to say "F*&% him, he didn't deserve you anyways, you're better off" but it's not that easy to make your heart believe it. I put everything into this relationship. everything. I trusted him. I let myself be vulnerable. I slept with him (a big deal since I have only been with my ex husband). everything. What do I do now? I feel lost and I haven;t stopped crying yet. And he is out having a great time probably not even thinking about what he has put me through. It's ironic, even his mom warned me he is a "heartbreaker" and she was NOT proud when she said it. But I thought I was different. I thought I was the girl he would want to spend the rest of his life with. Live and Learn.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 8:05am
I am so sorry you are going through this. Having your heart broken I think is one of the most horrible pains. Just be strong for yourself and your children. Good luck, Keep us posted Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 6:32pm
Hi there,

I really empathize -- I too am going through a break-up right now and have a broken heart. I think it's so confusing when you love someone and they treat you so badly. What I've learned over the years is that it's possible to fall in love with a particular aspect of a person, but that person may have other more negative aspects that unfortunately override the positive ones. Unfortunately, a lot of people are confused about what they really want in life, and that makes it hard for the people they are intimate with.

Just take it one day at a time, and keep reminding yourself that although you love certain aspects of him, OVERALL he has not treated you well and you deserve something better. What helps me, too, is that, although I still love my ex very much, there is a part of me that's RELIEVED to not be dealing with those negative aspects of him anymore. Still, it is going to be lonely (particularly weekends!).

I wish you the best, and remember you are doing what's right for you and your child!

toriphile322