Think I Just Want to Vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2011
Think I Just Want to Vent
8
Sun, 06-19-2011 - 3:15pm

We've been married 12 yrs., now in our 50's, both retired.

We've always had conflict about money. When we married he had just

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 06-19-2011 - 10:37pm

It seems to me to be a contradiction in terms to say on the one hand that he's nice but that he's also controlling and won't "allow" you to work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2011
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 9:00am
I'm sure you really mean to be helpful. I know women often seem to think they should all gang up on each other. Maybe you could spell out the helpful parts as if I were a six year old. I'm not getting it. What I get is your own situation is similar to my own but you don't know it.
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 9:45am

I guess my question would be who made him king of the household? Allowed to work? There are only a few countries where that is legally true. Otherwise you are letting him not let you work. Other than that i can see why you need to vent. You have someone taking you down the path to financial ruin and does not care about himself enough to take any steps at all to take care of himself. Smoking and overweight is a quick way to an early death.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2011
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 9:51am
I had one more thought. I know there's a tendency on msg. boards when personal issues are under discussion for emotional considerations to trump calmness and common sense.

If a person is trying to learn to live by the law of absolute right, mistakes are all for the learning process. They are all correctable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2011
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 9:52am
Are you people reading what I wrote?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 10:40am

I'm afraid I don't really understand your reply to me at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2011
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 8:20am
As I say, I think I just wanted to vent. I kind of feel in the position of someone who's crying about a stubbed toe to people in intensive care.
Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 11:08am

I think you have a fantastic relationship. I wouldn't change a thing.