Threatening to cheat/ divorce
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|Tue, 04-26-2011 - 3:48am|
My husband and I have always had a rocky relationship. It isn't a secret that the only reason we are together today is because of the kids. We got pregnant only 6 months into the relationship and then got married shortly afterwards. Neither of us was ready for parenthood or marriage, but we stuck through it and even had another baby that we cherish and adore. We act like any other caring, loving family. We are always hugging and loving and kissing, so lately I thought everything was great.
He has a fascination with my butt and I have always shunned it. I don't like people going near my butt, especially my 'hole'. He has tried and tried to get me to have anal sex with him and I did try twice - but it was excruciating, even after lubrication and foreplay. I am TERRIFIED of it, but that doesn't seem to matter to him. To me, it seems very selfish of him to ask that of me when he knows how opposed to it I am. Yet, he says I am being a "selfish, immature bitch" for not letting him enter my anus. I am not entirely sure about this, but I know something bad happened in my early childhood that I can't remember. Based on how I react when approached with the topic of anal sex, I think it might have something to do with it. What bothers me the most about my husband repeatedly asking me about it is the fact that I have shed so many tears and he is untuned with my fear and repulsion of the act. Today he threatened to cheat on me because I demand that he not be with other women while he is with me, yet I hold out on his sexual needs. If I want him all to myself, I better be prepared to endure whatever want or need he desires. He says it's all about "what I want" and I never think about him. I wish he could realize what this is doing to me and our relationship and our family. We have it pretty cushy and I can't see a reason to lose everything over this - it is obviously the most important thing to him.
Please tell me, am I being selfish by not wanting to try anal sex again, or should I push my fears aside to give my husband what he 'needs' to be happy? I cannot bear the thought of him cheating or divorce, but I don't see why it has to come to this. Please give me some insight.