threesome fantasy-need help/advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
threesome fantasy-need help/advice
3
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 2:32pm
My husband has been working with a man for the last 6yrs. or so. He considers him a friend of his. My husbands friend told him that good friends of theirs had just moved away which they had known for years. They did what people call "swinging" and asked my husband if he had ever done that. Which he hadn't. Well, to make a long story as short as possible. My husband asked me if I'd be interested in getting together with him and his wife. He talked about having sex in the same room with our own partners. I told him I didn't know if I could. At first I was in shock! I couldn't believe that my husband would let another man see me nude. This went on for several months, after awhile it didn't sound to bad. I thought it may be stimulating seeing and hearing another couple having sex while we were having sex. Then my husband showed his friend some pictures of me in a pretty black dress and some of me in some sexy lingerie. His friend thought I was beautiful. Well, they talked about me every chance they got. They both started fantisizing about me. My husband would come home after we put the kids to bed and tell me about it. He would get so "turned on" talking about it that he wouldn't be able to "perform" to satisfy me. Then he would fantasize me "being" with his friend and my husband would sit back and watch or make it a threesome. He would start talking about his friend while we were having sex and telling me what he wanted him to do to me. He said it was such a "turn on" for him. He asked me to e-mail him and see if they wanted to get together. When I did he replied on what a beautiful sexy women I was and that he wanted to "be" with me. I told him that he needed to sloow way down I didn't even know this man yet. He said that he feels like he already knows me because of all the info. my husband supplied him with. My husband has switched jobs for no other reason than he found a better paying one and after his friend and I were e-mailing each other my husband desided to put an end to it because he didn't like what his friend was saying to me. He can't get the fantasies out of his head though. What do you think we should do? This friend of his is like a part of my husband he can't let go and neither can I.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 2:53pm
Oh dear. You know, I can't tell you what you should do other than DON'T DO IT!! I've been there before except mine was with another woman who was my upstair neighbor and was friends with my boyfriend for a while. Long story short, it caused wayyyy too many problems: jealousy, trust issues, cheating and this is one big reason why, after nearly nine years I couldn't be with him anymore. I believe that bringing a third person into the bed spells disaster. Where emotions are involved you know the outcome will not be good.

Fantasies are healthy and if your husband can keep it as a fantasy then I see no harm in that. But please...I urge you not to act out this fantasy. Don't!!! It's not healthy!!!

Jennifer

"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 01-26-2004 - 10:38am
'This friend of his is like a part of my husband he can't let go and neither can I.'

If your husband no longer wants the man in your bedroom then why can't he let go?

Why exactly can't you let go? Do you have a desire to have a threesome and why? Or are you thinking about the other man that gave you lots of attention and it really isn't about the fantasy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Mon, 01-26-2004 - 5:35pm
This is a dangerous situation that can ruin your marriage and your life. Fantasy never lives up to reality. Its all about what each individual has conjured up as "ideal" no one can live up to this. Then your DH will view you as a whore. Didn't you ever see the movie "Indecent Proposal" or "9 and 1/2 weeks" ? Do you want to be reduced to a common whore? You will never be able to repair this type of damage. Please don't do this.