the thrill of the chase?
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| Sun, 03-30-2008 - 8:56pm |
I have been with my bf since september. i'm 32 and he's 29. we had not done more than kiss for months and months, as i did not want to rush into the physical part of the relationship. we developed a really nice friendship and had a nice courtship. he tried to push things further many times and I always told him 'no'.
last night, i was finally ready, so things progressed. as they did, he stopped abruptly and said he wasn't ready and was upset that the courtship part of our relationship was over. He'd now made a conquest. he then explained to me that that's how men work. it's all about the thrill of the chase and now things would be different between us. things just got sour and went downhill from there.
i said, 'you're the one who wanted this! i always said no!'
he said, 'that's why i really liked you. because you said no.'
he made me feel awful, like i had ruined our lovely courtship.
we never really straightened things out and i just feel mad and sad, like now he thinks less of me???

Welcome to the board workerbea,
Sorry, but not all guys are like this and not all guys behave this way.
I don't think it's a weird game really, more like a challenge - you said no, that made him what you more, then you gave in, it changed how he felt about you or his feelings were changing, but he wasn't acknowledged his feeling.
that is ridiculous...
so, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. (give in)
why do people have to play games?
I can't speak for 'people' though I know what you are getting at.
so, i suppose it is a lesson learned.
i should stick to my guns and will eventually meet someone who is on the same page and who, hopefully, shows up as who they really are. no games, no acting or strange agendas.
What a moron!
ha ha! it would be nice.
i was thinking about this today. what did he think i was? his mother? telling him what he could and could not do? how about a little self control?
so tired of these goofy games.