Tired of the behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2001
Tired of the behavior
4
Thu, 02-27-2014 - 8:47pm

I was trying to just find a place to vent, but I couldn't find one that wasn't full of swearing and trash.  But my marriage has a lot of problems that I've just tucked away and will need to get help with.  But for now, I just want to say that I don't feel well.  I brought dinner home, a special treat.  My family knew, I called to ask what they wanted.  When I got there, there were a lot of things going on...the snowblower was sitting there running, all the garage doors were open, my daughter and husband were running out and in the house and outside and back in.  I yelled to my husband (because the snowblower was on) "what happened?"  He started screaming at me "what do you mean what' happened?!"  Screaming mad, not just yelling.  I went inside. He came in a few minutes later and continued to yell at me.  He yelled about the things that were wrong, scary yelled.  I left before it got worse.  Sorry for venting. it is just another in this daily marriage that has so many problems.  I'm just tired and sick of the verbal and emotional abuse.  I will ask a real question next time, sorry.

Erleichda

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 02-28-2014 - 1:27am

  I'm confused    Why were you angry? 

IMO seek a therapist. 

From the post there is a dynamic of you being the authority figure spoiling the fun.

Both parents are involved in a death sprial.

there are personality conflicts that bring out the worst in eeach other.  Do not play the victim card as you are just as responsible as he is. 

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Sun, 03-02-2014 - 12:50pm

It's obvious that this has been going on for years and for some reason you have still not left this situation.Please don't use the excuse about the kid or kids.They will always be yours no matter what.You need to get out of that horrible marriage PERIOD. You don't have to go into detail about what's going on.It's toxic and it looks like you would be willing to get help but I Bet your husband wouldn't be...right? Look divorce isn't a bad thing.It's an option when one person has done everything they could possibly do to save the marriage but as we all know..it takes two and if one person isn't doing anything to want to work it out...there isn't anything you can do... We all want you to be happy and out of this...it sounds like I said its been going on for a long time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2012
Sat, 03-08-2014 - 10:00pm

I completely understand and empathize with your situation. Dealing with a man with an anger problem is tough, You walk on eggshells and you don't know how to approach him. Ever. Keeping everything bottled up is the worst. If you are seeing a therapist, great. If not, it will help. Try to find a place for yourself in life where you can give and accept love without issue. Best wishes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 03-09-2014 - 12:41pm

Your writing is all over the place and hard to make heads and tails of "what happened".  So your brought dinner home.  Could it simply be that your husband and daughter were trying to clear the snow and they run into a problem?  Anyway, if you are tired of your husband's behavior, you can always get out of the marriage.