Tired of being disrespected
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| Mon, 09-03-2007 - 1:26am |
I have been married to the same man for 18 years. He has never helped around the house even though I continue to beg. Things have gotten much worse over the past 4 years. Now he even refuses to maintain the lawn or repair anything. He says that it's "Woman's work" to do these things for the man. I say it should be divided equally! I work 25 hours a week outside the home, clean it to the best of my ability (hard when you have a slob of a husband and 3 kids who follow in his footsteps). I also take care of all of the finances, all of the car maintenance, animal care, grocery shopping, take out trash, take care of discipline where the kids are concerned, and you name it, I am expected to do it!!! He works 40 hours a week and that's it!!! He does whatever he wants after that(which is usually sit and watch t.v., lay down and relax or shop the internet for useless gadgets that we don't need).
His mom did everything for him and he expects me to be the same way, but I am not ever going to be that way. I was raised on a farm where everyone did their share of the work.
It worked for my family, I wish it would work with my current family.
I'm so sick of it!!! I hate to be home anymore or be around him. The clutter and mess has gotten out of control and I can no longer keep up!! I get so anxious, overwhelmed and depressed. I don't know what to do, I find myself no longer caring. What's your advice? Please help!!
Thanks.

Rocknroller, although your husband will probably never help you, you have three pairs of little hands that need to learn to be capable, responsible, and helpful. You are the mom; these are your children. They need to be taught to tidy up after themselves and make a contribution to the family as a whole, just as you did on the farm. When they whine, "Dad doesn't have to!" just reply, "Dad is an adult; he does what he thinks is right for an adult. You are my child, so you will do what I think is right for children."
Oh, and hire a yard service to take care of the stuff outside--you have to draw the line somewhere.
Thanks.
I also hope you can find a solution to your dilemma. I feel your pain. It helps to talk to someone.