tired of fighting

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2007
tired of fighting
3
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 2:56pm
my husband and i have been married for almost 1 year we have 2 small kids and weve been fighting alot. we been going to marriage counseling for 3 months but nothing has changed. i put him out last week and i dont know whats going to happen to my marriage. i dont work and i dont know what im going to do? i want to work it out because i love him but he's so angry im just so tired of the fighting he's so unpredictable i think he might be bipolar he has bad mood swings please help me
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 3:08pm

First, find a job. You need to be able to support yourself in a marriage and out; relying entirely on someone else financially is a setup for disaster. No matter what you decide to do, you need to be in the working world and supporting yourself.

Try finding another marriage counselor. If you both want to make progress but you haven't, it's time to find someone else who will actually help you determine what you are fighting about and help you find a common way to have disagreements so they don't turn into fights all the time. Learning how to talk in one another's language is one of the most important parts of any relationship.

Does HE want it to work out as badly as you do? I'm sure he's tired of fighting too, and two people who constantly fight should not be together especially if they have children. I really hope you can resolve this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 3:58pm

I think we need a little more info. Does he realize that he has a problem or does he blame you? Are you not satisfied with your counselor or do you feel that you and your husband don't follow through with the counselor's advice and that is why things are not improving? What do you fight about?

What is in the best interest for the children? Can you take them to your parents' house with you until your husband sees a Dr?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 4:45pm
most of the problems that have come up have always been my fault something i said or didnt say, something i did or didnt do, im always the blame. i feel that although the counselor is experienced he is not really helping us, all he keeps saying is that it takes time and that we need to contiune the therapy . i know that the problems will not be fixed overnight but i feel like he's not being realistic. he wants me to be patient but he doesnt give me any advice on ways to be patient and how to deal with my husbands outbursts and mood swings. my husband hasnt been totally honest and when were at the therapy he sounds great like he wants to work on things and he's sorry but when we go home things only repeat, there is no progression. i felt that him leaving for alittle while would help clear our minds but now im not so sure about that. he's very angry and i havent spoke to him since he left the house . i dont know what his plans are in reguards to our marriage. he took off his wedding ring, but he always does that when he's mad. i dont know what to do , im confused!!!!