together and thinking of someon new

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2007
together and thinking of someon new
6
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 9:23pm

I have been in a relationship for 3 years and alsom live with my boyfriend. Lately like in the past month or so i have developed feelings for someone else. THis other person is also a friend of mine and my boyfriend. I know the "other" guy likes me to. I am not a cheat, but have thought about kissing this "other" guy. What is wrong with me? I have feeling for 2 guys, but i think i need and want more.

argh!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 8:45am

Pinkbubbles, I've got three different ideas for you:

1. This is an infatuation that will pass. I've read many a post from faithful, committed people having short term crushes on other people. But they choose to not act on it and simply wait till the crush passes. From what I've read, they come and go without much reason.

2. Your relationship is lacking and you're seeking it elsewhere. (I've been there done that) Perhaps your boyfriend pays you no attention and this guy does? Perhaps this new guy understands you better?

3. This man's attentions are stroking your ego or boosting your self esteem (I've been there and done that too)

Or perhaps it's a combination of the above!

In short, the first thing you need to do is figure out WHY you're attracted to this other guy. Then figure out whether to make changes in your life or just wait it out.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 11:49am

Welcome to the board pinkbubbles,


I hope you really take iv_aisha2004's advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 7:32pm

Thanks all!

When i am with the other guy, all i can do is think about kissing him or just being alone with him. I want to be crazy passionate with him! Things are not the same with my current flame-from sex to everything. I find my self still attracted, but i could pass on all the lovey dovey stuff. My current boyfriend still desires me and is still affectionate, but i am not, but i want to be! I guess i miss the whole new discovery me discover you thing. Anyway-i hope this passes and it is just a crush.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 7:46pm

>>My current boyfriend still desires me and is still affectionate, but i am not, but i want to be!<<

Does this mean you've lost your sexual desire for your boyfriend? If so, did it happen before you got a crush on the other guy?

This is really important in figuring out what's going on for you. Are there any other problems in the relationship with your boyfriend?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 8:32pm
I have lost my sexual desire for my boyfriend and i find that he irritates me more often then usual. He has always had his little quirks, but who doesn't?! Im not perfect, but i feel like i have to leave the room so i dont start an argument with him. and yes this has started after my crush! Maybe i am comparing my current boyfriend to the "other" guy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 8:50pm

Pinkbubbles, problems in the bedroom (like loss of desire) are very often caused by problems outside the bedroom. You are right in that we all have little quirks, but some quirks are far easier to live with than others! Some quirks can and should be dealbreakers. What kind of quirks are we talking about?

I'm still hoping for a time line here. Did your relationship start loosing desire and having fights before or after you got the crush on the other guy?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace