Too much about nothing?!?!?
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Too much about nothing?!?!?
| Sun, 08-08-2004 - 12:41pm |
I bet this is a classical question because I guess this is a classical fear between women... and it's about the ex-girlfriend. I'm in a 10 month relationship with a wonderfull guy. He came to my university as an exchange student and of course, he left a girlfriend in his country, they were together for 3 months before he left, but it seems that it was a pretty intense romance. We started to get to know each other, but I knew he had a girlfriend so I kept my space, but little by little we fell in love and started to go out. He told his ex-girlfriend about me and they broke up. But since she had plans of coming to visit him she continued with her plans and came in december to travel, they met for one day and talked and he decided he wanted to go on with our relationship so they definitely broke up.
Now his one year program ended and he is back in his country (Austria). I applied to a graduate program in his university and I'm still waiting to get accepted, but our plans are to meet in about a month. So I guess this is really silly but I AM nervous about him seeing her again. What do you guys think? I'm I right to be nervous or is this just really stupid?
Normally I don't worry about ex- girlfriends but this one has me a little nervous just because their relationship ended up because of me and not because something didn't work out. It makes a difference if you brake up with someone because the relationship isn't working, or if you just decide you want to be with someone else.
Please help me to calm down my heart, because my brain just tells me this is really silly. How do guys see their relationship with their ex-girlfriends?
Now his one year program ended and he is back in his country (Austria). I applied to a graduate program in his university and I'm still waiting to get accepted, but our plans are to meet in about a month. So I guess this is really silly but I AM nervous about him seeing her again. What do you guys think? I'm I right to be nervous or is this just really stupid?
Normally I don't worry about ex- girlfriends but this one has me a little nervous just because their relationship ended up because of me and not because something didn't work out. It makes a difference if you brake up with someone because the relationship isn't working, or if you just decide you want to be with someone else.
Please help me to calm down my heart, because my brain just tells me this is really silly. How do guys see their relationship with their ex-girlfriends?

there's just one person trying to manage his/her feelings, and the other doing his/her best to help. and all the calm, reassuring talk in between.
on a more specific note, personally, i leave my previous relationships well behind, and there really is no chance, no thought in my mind, of getting back together with an ex, unless the situation has been drastically changed. because having made a decision to leave one situation for another, it seems silly to go back to the first one, if nothing has changed.
a month's wait can be very long, but both of you know you are going to be together again, and you're even going to where he stays, so i would say keep all your hopes up, keep in good contact, and things should turn out well!
Three months isnt a very long time, no matter how " intense" things had gotten, he had 10 months to get over it, ya know? Ultimatley, though, if this is something that concerns you- then talk to him about it. It will inly cause more problems if you keep everything pinned up inside.
Tell him that you are just nervous and concerned about him running into his ex. Not that you feel you will be replaced, but that he never got closure onthe relationship and you fear that he may rehash the feelings. Or something like that.:) But, being honest will get you the truth.
Best wishes and good luck in school!