too sensitive or insensitive?
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too sensitive or insensitive?
| Mon, 05-31-2004 - 7:49pm |
just curious as to what others thought about this, as it has made me feel really crap. i went out with my boyfriend today to the park, and we had a great day. however whilst out i noticed him checkin out other girls. obviously this is fairly normal to an extent for example if a member of the opposite sex walks past you with hardly any clothes on its abit hard not to look. howeber what hurt me was when he started to tell me. for example we got an ice cream, when i went to pay for the ice cream he muttered in my ear hold the money low, i was abit confused at first but then realised. it made me feel frustrated and almost not wanted. he wanted ME, HIS GIRLFRIEND to hold the money low so he could lookdown this womens top. later on during the day , we were lying in the park watching people play frisbee. as a woman bent over to pick it up he said ' ohhhh i just saw down her top' and made me watch the second time. i dunnoif its me bein over sensitive or him being insensitive, because if i was to do anything like that i kno he would feel terrible and give me the silent trement. although i wouldnt dream of saying any thing like that to him as i respect his feeling to much. id be grateful for any advice?

You went on to talk about him giving you the silent treatment if you do something he does not approve of. Not very grown up either.
Now he is claiming, after a year, that he does not know you? If he does not know you after a year it's because he hasn't bothered to get to know you. He has not cared enough about your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and dreams to actually listen to you. He describes exterior qualities that he finds attractive, on the same level as the girls in the park. Unfortunately, this is probably because that is all he's really interested in. The outside. It would takes real effort and sacrifice to deal with what is on the inside. Is he capable of that? Some people aren't. Oh, they can hide it for a while but, in the end, their true self-absorbed nature comes out. On the other hand, he could be saying those things just to make you feel bad for confronting him on the drooling over other chicks thing. Oh, oh...either way, it's that same 'worthy of respect' issue again.
I'm sorry to say that these issues seem to be establishing a pattern. A pattern that you are seeing and questioning. In your world, you deem disrespect intolerable. You would not do it to others and you should not stand for it being leveled at you. Sensitivity to disrespect is something you should *never* question or apologize for. Don't let your inner voice be drowned out by him. Never settle for someone else's idea of what you are worth.
Keep looking up^, Susan.