Trapped in the friendship zone

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Trapped in the friendship zone
3
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 9:14pm
I'm in love with someone. We are both in college and our early 20's, and i met him about 6 or 7 months ago at work. We clicked intstantly, and even though our job doesnt really bring us together often, we choose to see eachother regularly, almost daily, either at work or outside of work. In the beginning, I fought my feelings for him but now, as we get closer, I can't fight it anymore. I'm crazy about him. I have no idea how he feels about me, and I do my best not to let him see how much I care. My wishful thinking tells me he feels the same way, and he has told me before, on many occasions that he has trouble making the first move on a girl. Is that a hint? Does he want me to make a move? All i ever do (stupidly) is tell him that he needs to be more brave and call girls that he's interested in. He has, with my encouragement, a couple times, but he usually ends up ending it with that phonecall saying "she was a mumbler on the phone," I dont know what to think! Help me please! I'm falling for him more and more every day, and I'm worried that I'll lose my chance. How do i know if he feels the same. What should I do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 7:08am
Ok,

I think you are in the zone. I think that he may see you as more of a girl-friend than a girlfriend.... asking girl advice can be either a hint or question... Dont assume you know! How do you expect him to know how you feel if you don't tell him. c'mon the worst he can say is "you are mumbler on the phone" lol, But really I am also in my 20's, in college, so I know how you feel. My bf always assumes, I always assume and that causes missed oppertunities. More than likely if he is making an effort to see you other than the occassional office bump in than he likes you. But don't think, ASK ALREADY!

-Janelle

p.s. let me know how things go.

mattysbabylove@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Thu, 08-26-2004 - 4:33pm
That is so unbelievably easier said than done. I guess I'm just hoping for things to happen naturally, but that would take a big effort on his part. I guess I'm just looking for hints or clues that he wants more,and if I feel confident about it then make some kind of move. If i do make a move, what should i do? I feel so lost. I was thinking about maybe taking a step back. Getting a little busier, and seeing what kind of a reaction I get from him, when he realizes that im not as readily available as he's used to, but that just feels childish and false..I'm just lost. I can't get this kid off the brain

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 11:58pm
A lot of things don't happen naturally. All the hints and clues you are looking for may go un noticed because you are so use to this type of behavior with him. Like I said before, since he is making an EXTRA effort to see you says A LOT! If you were just a friend, would he do that??? And you will never know if you don't say something. If you are finding it hard to act on this then... why dont you ask him if he wants to go to a movie... "just as friends" or voice your consern about his availablity status.... say "aren't there any girls you are interested in???" (and sound very flirty and make eye contact) he should get the hint. Or tell him that you know someone who thinks he is sooo hot. When he asks who tell him what do I get for telling you. Flirting with him is the best bridge to go from girl-friend to girlfriend. Rember it takes alot to get the courage to make a move, but even if it turns out he doesn't like you "like that" just laugh it off, you still have some sort of relationship with him.

good luck

-Janelle

mattysbabylove@yahoo.com