Trouble agreeing

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Trouble agreeing
1
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 4:26am
Dear Relationship Saver,

Hi. I am 20 yrs. old, and have a great and loving, serious boyfriend, who is 21. We have been together for a year and a half. We are both each others first true loves!:) We are in a commited relationship, and plan on getting married within this dacade. We have a great, loving, supportive relationship, and love each other dearly. We only have one slight "problem".... we have differing tastes and some differing views. We bought a house that will be done being built in October or November of this year, right now we live seperately. The problem is, although we do like some of the same styles of house decor, etc., we do not agree on some of it. We also, cant agree on the breed of dog we wnat to get when we move in. We both can be a little stubborn, but I have told him I am willing to compromise on, say, the dog breed, and some of our houses decor. I get very frustrated with him when I feel he is being unyeilding, and unwilling to compromise with me on issues like this. My question is, what should we do to come to an agreement on these things? I try to explain to him why I think certain things are a better choice, but he just seems to blow it off. I am the type of person who takes into account every aspect of our relationship, future,and lifestyle,when I make decisions, but it seems like he just lives in "the now", and doesnt think things through all the way. Do you have any suggestions on how to overcome this? Thanks!:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 1:50pm
Try Pre-martial counseling to find a compromise. Is either of you insisting on having their way on the dog? Can you get two? Can you find one that you can both agree on?

As for the house, there are ways around that two - spliting the decor in rooms - which rooms are important to you - kitchen, family room, what? Split them with him. He gets 'his way' in specific rooms and you get 'your way' in other rooms.

I strongly recommend pre-martial counseling to help you both learn to overcome the 'stubborness' and to work on effective ways of communicating and compromising.


Carrie